Siege of Space City
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 21 up! Complete! The West Coast Misfits battle Cobra on board a space station! Next: The insanity finally comes to an end! RR Please! Suggestions needed badly!
1. Welcome to Space City!

**Siege on Space City**

**Disclaimer: All characters that are not mine belong to Marvel Comics, Hasbro, etc. And here's your quote: "Take _that_, 1950s society!" - Peter Griffin, _Family Guy_**

**Author's Note: Hey there, folks! L1701E here! I struggled to find a reason for a new fic, but I found inspiration in a DVD I purchased sometime back: _The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians_. One of the episodes inspired this story, so enjoy!**

Chapter 1: Welcome to Space City!

**In orbit over the Earth**

A large space station hovered in orbit over the Earth. The station slowly turned around in its orbit. The station's appearance was gleaming white. It resembled four large spheres with glass top halves attached to a white version of a Starbase from _Star Trek: The Next Generation._

In one room, there sat a man of Asian descent, who appeared to be at middle age. His short black hair was combed neatly, and he was wearing a white-and-green jumpsuit. He was sitting in a white hoverchair, similar to the one the GI Joe had given Charles Xavier. He was looking over some displays. On one of the screens, a young woman could be seen floating near the station out in space. Obviously, she was wearing a space suit to protect her from the rigors of the vacuum-like environment.

"Kimiko..." The man blinked at the young woman at the screen. "What are you doing out there?" The young woman smiled.

"Oh, hello father." She smiled warmly at the man. "I was just overseeing the robots that were working on Quad 3." The man chuckled.

"Daughter, I assure you. The robots do not need supervision. They are perfectly capable of doing the construction on their own."

"I know, father." The young woman, Kimiko, nodded. "But I do not mind. I enjoy spacewalking."

"You should come back inside." The man advised. "You know how I worry about you." Kimiko smiled.

"Father, you do not need to worry. I was trained to work out in space." She reassured. The old man smiled slightly.

"I know, daughter. But worrying is something a parent does. You will understand yourself once you have children of your own." The old man explained.

"You should come out and do some EVA with me, father." Kimiko suggested. "This view is amazing. Earth is so beautiful here from space." **(1)**

"To your young eyes, my dear." The man looked at a monitor that was focused on Earth. "To you, the Earth is a wonderous glistening gem. To me, though, it is nothing but a cesspool of chaos and disorder."

"Father, you are such a grump." Kimiko chuckled.

**Malibu Base, Malibu, California**

Malibu Base. The home of the Malibu Joes, an offshoot to the anti-terrorism force known as G.I. Joe. The base was also home to the Malibu Joes' young wards, the West Coast Misfits.

The West Coast Misfits were an offshoot team of the Misfits, a group of young mutants from various backgrounds. And several members were enjoying themselves by the pool.

Rahne Sinclair, a former X-Man, was standing on a diving board. The redhaired Scottish girl was codenamed Wolfsbane because her mutant power was essentially lycanthropy. She was wearing a blue one-piece.

"And Rahne Sinclair prepares for her dive. Hopefully, this'll finally get Scotland a gold medal."She grinned. The redhead bounced on the diving board, and then dove into the water with a _Splash!_ A few seconds later, the head of a russet-furred wolf poked out of the water, and she started doggy paddling.

"Hey Rahne, don't do that." Theresa Rourke chided. "You'll get hair in the pool again." Irish-born, the blonde second-generation mutant, codenamed Siryn, had the power to manipulate sound, which often was in the form of a sonic scream. She was laying on a deck chair, dressed in a green two-piece. Her eyes were covered by a pair of sunglasses, and she was reading a book.

"_Can't get enough of your love..._" Ace Starr sang. Born in Los Angeles, Ace was codenamed Wildstar because of his mutation. A feral mutant, Ace's mutation reflected the lion, which inspired him to take the nickname "King of the Rock Beasts". Another nickname that fit the fun-loving retro-dressing feral was "Ace of Hearts" for his love of the ladies. He was sitting by the pool, strumming an acoustic guitar, singing an old song.

"Hey Ace, what is that ye're singing?" Rahne asked as she turned around and started to float, changing back into her human form.

"Bad Company, Wolfgirl Rahne." Ace chuckled.

"Who're Bad Company?" Theresa binked. Ace's jaw dropped.

"You're kidding me!" The feral yelped in shock. "Bad Company! An English supergroup! They were started in 1973 by Paul Rodgers and Simon Kirke from Free, Mick Ralphs from Mott the Hoople, and Boz Burrell of King Crimson! They were a blues rock band! Awesome group! You ever heard the song _ 'Feel Like Makin' Love'_?"

"Aye." A blinking Theresa nodded. "On the radio yesterday."

"That's them!" Ace grinned.

"Oh." Theresa nodded in understanding. "I liked that guy's voice."

"Paul Rodgers." Ace nodded. "He's awesome. He's working with Queen now." Meanwhile, two more members of the West Coast Misfit team were enjoying themselves.

Terrell Mason was a Compton native blessed with superhuman speed and aerokinetic abilities. He was codenamed Velocity. Shiro Yoshida was a Japanese mutant with the powers of flight and plasma generation. A superhero in his native Japan, he was known as Sunfire. The two mutants were playing a handheld video game.

"Come on, Sunboy!" Terrell laughed. "You can't beat me in this game!"

"This game is not just simply about who is the faster, Terrell." The Japanese mutant told the speedster sagely. A smirk crossed his face. "It is also about who has a superior sense of strategy." A crash was heard from the game machine.

"_Ooh Mama Mia!_" A computerized voice yelled.

"AGH!" Terrell exclaimed as he just saw his chances of winning the video game race go up in digital smoke. "Dammit, Shiro!"

"And victory goes to me." Shiro smirked. "Shall we race again?"

"You know, now I'm beginning to understand why Kyle can't stand you." Terrell frowned.

"Kyle just cannot stand the fact that I am smarter than him." Shiro explained.

"Yeah, whatever." The Compton native grunted.

"Come on, ye two. It's just a silly game." Theresa chuckled.

"Hey, kids!" The Malibu Joe codenamed Jester grinned as he walked up to the kids.

"Hey Jester." The young mutants waved back.

"Jester! Thank you!" Ace sighed in gratitude. "I feel so alone! I'm the only one in this bunch who knows who Bad Company is!"

"Oh yeah, those guys are cool." Jester nodded. "Hey, have you seen my rubber chicken?"

"Ye have, like, twenty rubber chickens." Rahne remembered. "Why are ye so worried about this one chicken?"

"Because it's my lucky rubber chicken." Jester explained. "I did some of my best pranks with that lucky chicken by my side." An explosion was heard.

"AAAAAAGH! JESTER!" The voice of the Joe codenamed Hardcase screamed. "WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!"

"Ye pranked him again, didn't ye?" Theresa smirked knowingly, crossing her arms.

"And you lost your chicken, and you're trying to grab it so Hardcase can't prove you pranked his jeep. Again." Shiro realized.

"Uh, actually..." Jester smiled in embarassment, rubbing the back of his head. "I didn't. I've been busy today."

"Doing what? Actual work? That seems kind of out-of-character for you." Ace blinked. The dark-haired pilot chuckled.

"Actually Ace, I've been doing plenty of goofing off today." Jester reassured.

"Oh good. I thought you got replaced by a robot or something." Ace snickered.

"I've been trying to get something for Dial-Up." The pilot explained. "The guys have been trying to get her to take a vacation, and I figured she'd like this." He pulled out a couple tickets from his jacket.

"Tickets?" Terrell blinked.

"Yup." Jester nodded. "There's a comedy festival in Las Vegas. Three days of the best in up-and-coming stand-up."

"What makes ye think that Dial-Up will go for it?" Rahne inquired as she got out of the pool.

"Because laughter is the best medicine." Jester explained with a grin. "I guarantee you, Dial-Up will leave with a split side, a busted gut, and a grin so big, you'll need a plastic surgeon to remove it!"

"Oh, I'm sure she'll enjoy it." Shiro frowned.

"No offense Jester..." Rahne frowned. "I know ye mean well, but don't ye think that Dial-Up would rather do something else than go tae a comedy festival with ye?"

"Everyone likes to laugh, young pup." Jester told the redhead Scot sagely. "Even Dial-Up has a sense of humor."

"Oh, yeah." Ace agreed. "Dial-Up finds it hilarious when one of your pranks explodes in your face."

"Like that one bit ye tried with the pies." Theresa giggled. "It was so funny. Ye looked like a giant blueberry blob!"

"Gave Wipe-Out and Firestorm a good scare." Ace remembered with a snicker.

"I remember Firestorm running out with a flamethrower." Shiro noted.

"That's not funny, man!" Jester exclaimed. "I nearly got toasted alive!"

"Well, it didn't help him that you were groaning the whole time and waving your arms about." Terrell snickered.

"I couldn't see anything, and I could barely talk!" Jester wailed. "Come on! That's embarrassing!"

"Aye...but it is funny." Theresa smirked.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes on on the way to a new adventure! What insanity will happen next? What's with Space City? What do our heroes have to do with it? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – EVA stands for Extra-Vehicular Activity. It's a fancy term for putting on a spacesuit and floating around.**


	2. Plots of Cobra!

**Siege on Space City**

**Disclaimer: "Ayyyyyyy!" - Henry Winkler as Arthur Fonzarelli, _Happy Days_**

Chapter 2: Plots of Cobra!

**A diner, somewhere in the Midwest**

A car pulled up to the diner, which resembled something straight out of _Happy Days_. The blonde-haired teenage girl that was driving peeked out.

"Ooh..." She grinned, her golden eyes shining. Vanna Creed got out of the car. "Diner! That means food! Man, I'm hungry!" She emerged from the car and walked inside. The young clone feral walked inside and noticed the people inside, mostly truckers and traveling families. "Hunh. No Ritchie Cunningham. No Fonzie. Oh, I'm in the wrong place!" She heard her stomach grumble. "But I need to eat." A fat blonde woman, dressed in a pink uniform, was standing behind the counter. She looked up at Vanna and smiled.

"Hello there, kid." She greeted. Vanna cocked her head.

"Hi." She waved. Her stomach growled again.

"You sound hungry, kid." The woman chuckled. She waved at the blonde feral invitingly. "Come on in, kid. Sit a spell and get yourself something to eat."

"Okay." Vanna shrugged and took a seat on one of the counter's stools. "Hey, this thing is spinny!" She giggled as she spun on it. "Whee! Hey, got any pancakes?"

"I'll have the chef whip you up some, sweetheart." The woman chuckled.

**Dreadnok HQ**

"Bloody hell, I'm bored..." Torch whined. The redheaded Dreadnok was lying on the couch of the Dreadnok headquarters' living room. With him were Buzzer and Ripper. Buzzer was sitting on a chair, and Ripper was playing a handheld video game. All three of them were watching TV as well.

"How do you think the rest of us feel?" Buzzer grumbled, switching channels with the remote. "There's nothing even on!"

"You'd think the boss would let us go out on that mission with us." Ripper sighed.

"It wasn't a mission, it was a grocery store run!" Buzzer corrected. "All we do is ask Zarana if we can come with her, and she goes ballistic! What is her problem?"

"She grumbled something about us and the produce section." Torch muttered. "Wasn't our bloody fault. It was that stupid kid." Zandar chuckled as he walked by.

"Yeah, I'm sure it was that kid's fault." The pink-haired Dreadnok struggled not to laugh. "That nine-month-old kid in the stroller."

"Hey, he blew a raspberry at me!" Torch snapped. Zandar rolled his eyes at the redhead biker.

"Yeah, a baby was out to insult you." The pink-haired Dreadnok chuckled. "And her mother hated your guts."

"Not to mention that she wielded a mean handbag." Buzzer snickered.

"You want me to grab me flamethrower and toast you?!" Torch snapped at the blond ex-professor.

"Come get you some, you-!" Buzzer snapped, jumping up from his seat.

"Calm down, you two." Zandar got between them. "Look, why don't I go to the video store and rent you guys a couple gam-!"

_**KA-BOOM!**_

"Huh?" Ripper blinked.

"BWAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!" An English-accented voice cackled insanely.

"Oh, man..." Zandar groaned. "Virus."

"What is that little bugger up to now?" Buzzer grumbled. "I swear, the little plonker just keeps getting weirder and weirder."

"You're surprised?" Zandar frowned.

"VIRUS!" A feminine voice was heard screeching. "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Zandar's eyes widened.

"Uh oh..."

"Aw, great!" Torch groaned. "Now we gotta deal with a hacked-off Zanya."

"BWAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Virus cackled madly as he ran by.

"Virus, what did you do?!" Zandar yelled.

"REVENGE!" Virus whooped. "It works! Me machine works! I am so going to use this on that bloody Toad!"

"VIRUS!" Zanya roared, running by. Her clothes were torn, she had some scratch marks on her, and she was covered in shaving cream and paint. She was carrying a frying pan...Actually, se was swinging it about like a madwoman. "YOU COME BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A MAN!"

"Aw, great." Zandar groaned. "Zanya! Wait! We need the little psychopath!"

"I need him, too!" Zanya snapped. "I need him to SWIM IN HIS OWN BLOOD!"

**A conference room, location unknown**

"Ah, I thank you all for arriving." Serpentor smirked as the rest of Cobra's senior staff arrived into the conference room and took seats. Serpentor himself was smirking as he sat in his throne, a glass of wine in his hand. This Serpentor was actually the third one. The first was destroyed, and the second became a drag performer.

"What do you want, Serpentor?" The Baroness grunted, crossing her arms.

"You called us..." Tomax started.

"...from a very important meeting." Xamot finished.

"You know, we really need to get those two some therapy or something similar for that." Destro sighed.

"You're telling me." Zartan agreed. Zartan was the leader of the Dreadnoks, a group of mercenary bikers.

"We are currently..." Xamot continued, deciding to ignore the Dreadnok and arms dealer.

"...swamped with paperwork..." Tamox continued.

"At Extensive Enterprises." Xamot concluded. Extensive Enterprises was a corporation Cobra created to give themselves a legitimate face. Tomax and Xamot, who specialized in financial matters, ran the corporation.

"We _really_ need to get those two some kind of therapy for that." The Baroness leaned over and whispered to Destro. The steel-masked arms dealer nodded.

"Yes, we are all growing rather tired of it." He concurred.

"To get back on track..." Zartan grumbled. "I heard that there is a space station in orbit over Earth."

"A space station?" Serpentor blinked.

"That's old news." The Baroness scoffed. "Everybody knows about that station! Several countries collaborated on it for years!"

"Not that one." Zartan shook his head. "There's another one."

"Another one?" Destro blinked.

"Yeah, another one." Zartan nodded. "Some rich Japanese recluse built this huge space station."

"Interesting..." Baroness scratched her chin.

"I had Virus do some hacking." Zartan held up a file folder. "We could use the station as a COBRA headquarters."

"I see what you are getting at..." Serpentor smirked. "If COBRA claimed this city of the stars..."

"Then we could strike anywhere on Earth from it!" Baroness grinned. "Those blasted Joes and their moronic Misfits won't be able to stop us!"

"Not to mention that if we take the station, I can work up countermeasures in case any of Earth's other heroes decide to interfere." Destro offered.

"Then, let us take this station." Serpentor grinned.

**Space City, some time later**

_Buzzow! Buzzow! Buzzow!_

"Agh!" The old Asian man in the flying white chair exclaimed as he narrowly dodged a laser beam. "I have to get Kimiko and get some help!" He floated towards a console in a room. Outside, a group of Cobra soldiers, led by Destro, raced towards the closed door.

"Open up, Professor." The steel-masked arms dealer knocked on the door. "We do not wish to have to hurt you."

"Speak for yerself." One of the Cobra soldiers grumbled.

"You hush up." Destro ordered. "Blow the door."

"You got it." Another Cobra soldier nodded. He pulled out a small explosive device and put it on the metal door. "Everybody stand back!" The group did as ordered.

_**Boom!**_

The explosive blew a hole in the door, which Destro and the Cobra soldiers used to burst their way in.

"It is a good thing for us that you were so intent on keeping this station a secret, that you had no defensive systems in this station." Destro smirked as he marched in. "Isn't that right, Professor Miyamoto?" **(1)**

"You will never take this station!" The old man snapped. "I've already alerted for help!"

"You may have called..." Destro nodded. "But I highly doubt that any of the heroes that will respond will be smart enough to stop us." He turned to a Cobra soldier. "Alert Zartan. Tell him we are ready for him. And tell him to bring Virus as well. He can make the modifications we need."

"Sir, do you _really _want that psychopath on board this station?" The soldier frowned. Destro sighed.

"Believe me, if that little monster wasn't such a genius, he wouldn't even be anywhere near this station."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like business is picking up! What insanity will happen next? What is Cobra going to do with Space City? Can our heroes save the day? Will I stop asking stupid questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – Professor Miyamoto is a nod to Shigeru Miyamoto, the legendary creator of the _Super Mario Bros._ And _The Legend of Zelda_ series.**


	3. Pancakes and Shooting Stars!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "Look out! He's got a knife!"**

Chapter 3: Pancakes and Shooting Stars!

**A diner in the Midwest**

"Mmm...pancakes..." Vanna Creed licked her lips happily as she feasted on yet another plate of pancakes. Her arms turned into blurs as she eagerly scarfed down the flat breakfast treats. Hers was a large pile, with a block of melted butter on top and drowning in maple syrup. "Yummy!" Two of the chefs were watching from the kitchen.

"Damn." The first chef whistled. "How many plates of pancakes did she eat?"

"She's on her fifth." The second chef answered. "That kid can eat."

"Yeah." The first chef nodded. "Man, I'm glad Jimmy got her order. That girl is going through pancakes like a plow through snow."

"You suppose she could be one of them mutant things?" The second chef blinked.

"What're you worried about?" The first chef frowned. "You have that cousin that can fly!"

"Oh yeah." The second chef remembered. "Hey, did you see wrestling last night?"

"Yeah." The first chef grinned. "I couldn't believe that the Wreck-Master returned! I was shocked!"

"He didn't miss a step!" The second chef laughed. "It was five years ago all over again, baby!"

"Yeah!" The first chef laughed, the two chefs high-fiving. "Anyway, look at that kid eat. She's a bottomless pit!"

"That kid probably has a black hole for a stomach or something." The second chef guessed. "I mean, think about it! Light can't escape those things! What chance does a pancake have?"

"Oh, my God. You are right!" The first chef gaped. "Maybe she can't be satisfied because her stomach can't be filled."

"Yeah." The second chef nodded. "It's like zombies with brains, man. They can't ever be satisfied."

"Speaking of zombies, you ever hear about that zombie invasion in Bayville, New York?" The first chef remembered.

"Oh yeah..." The second chef nodded. "That was crazy. I heard that one of the prominent residents cracked and went on a zombie-killing rampage. Straight out of _Dawn of the Dead_, man."

"More pancakes!" Vanna demanded. "...please."

"Geeeeez, man..." The first chef shook his head. "The girl is a machine." He then snapped his fingers, a grin forming on his face. "Hey, I just had a great idea! We should enter her into the eating contest that Beau is holding next week!"

"Oh, yeah!" The second chef grinned in agreement. "She'd be a shoe-in! Yeah!" The two chefs high-fived.

**The Xavier Institute**

Jean Grey sat on one of the chairs of the Common Room of the Xavier Institute. She was watching TV. The redheaded telepath/telekinetic was seemingly spellbound by the program she was watching. Her green eyes glazed over, and she was ignorant of the world around her.

"_That is it, Sylvia! I am leaving you for your sister!_" A male voice announced from the television, followed by a brief blast of organ music.

"Ooh, that Trevor!" Jean grumbled before becoming zoned out by the program again.

"Hey, Jean!" Scott Summers, the optic blaster codenamed Cyclops called. "Jean, I'm going out to get some more of that pancake mix." He walked by. "Do you need anything...Jean?" The X-Men's field leader stopped and noticed Jean's lack of movement. "Jean?" A blinking Scott carefully approached his redhaired other half. "Jean?" He waved his hand in front of her face.

"Huhnuhhhh..." Jean mumbled.

"Jeeeeeean..." Scott waved. "Hello?" He snapped his fingers in front of Jean's face. "Jeannie? Yoo-hoo..."

"Show's not over!" Jean exclaimed before she started blinking. "Oh. Hi, Scott."

"What're you watching?" Scott inquired.

"This soap opera." Jean explained. "It's actually quite good."

"Meh." Scott shrugged. "No offense, but I'm not really a fan of those things."

"Oh, Scott..." Jean chuckled. "Anyway, what did you say you were doing?"

"I was going to the store." Scott reminded. "You want anything?"

"Since you asked, I could use some popcorn." Jean smiled. Scott nodded.

"Yeah, that's no problem. I'll grab a box."

"_Sylvia! You don't understand! The horse is a harbinger of an alien invasion!_" A female voice announced from the TV, accompanied by a blast of organ music. Scott raised his eyebrow at the television.

"Wow, those soap operas are reaching for plots, huh?"

"I dunno." Jean shrugged. "It was better than last year. Aie..." The redhead rolled her eyes.

**Dreadnok HQ**

"Hey uh...Torch peeked down the hallway nervously. "Is it safe?"

"Yeah, it's fine." Zandar waved in reassurance. He and Zarana were standing in front of the door to Zanya's room. It was a black wooden door with a skull-and-crossbones painted on it in white, and boards on it saying "Dreadnok for Hire" and "Enter and Die". "We managed to get Zanya in her room

"Alright! Hey listen, I gotta go!" He started to leave.

"Torch..." Zandar blinked at Torch's clothes. "What _are_ you wearing?" Torch was clad in a suit with the sleeves ripped off. And it appeared the suit was made completely of denim.

"It's a suit." Torch blinked. "I got a business meeting."

"_You?_" Zarana blinked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I gotta go talk to the board about some new ideas for me grape soda business. See ya! I'll be back at three!" Torch left the HQ.

"Huh." Zarana frowned. "Hard to believe that man has a business. Much less a successful one."

"I know." Zandar agreed. "Look at this." He held up a copy of _Forbes_ magazine, a prominent business magazine. Zarana's jaw dropped. A grinning Torch was on the cover, giving the thumbs-up and holding up a can of Uncle Winken's Grape Soda.

**Malibu Base**

"_Duh duh duh...duh duh duh dun duh duh duh! And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust..._" Jester sang to himself as he stood on the roof of his barracks. He was fiddling with a telescope. He heard the slight thud of a ladder. "Huh?" The pilot blinked as he heard a figure climb up the ladder. The figure turned out to be Rahne Sinclair.

"Hello, Jester." The redheaded mutant werewolf smiled.

"Oh, hey there, Wolfy." Jester greeted. "Whatcha doin'?"

"I saw ye fiddlin' with that' telescope from the Manor, and I came tae see what ye were doin'." Rahne explained.

"Oh." Jester blinked. "Well, I'm going to do some stargazing. I always loved the sky at night. Not many people know this, but I'm also an amateur stargazer."

"Oh, really?" Rahne blinked.

"Yup." Jester grinned. "There's some nice constellations out tonight."

"If ye say so." Rahne shrugged, scuffing her toe on the ground. "Jester?"

"Yeah, Rahne?" The pilot answered as he adjusted his telescope.

"I have something tae admit to ye."

"Admit? Admit what?" The pilot blinked.

"...Dial-Up sent me here." Rahne confessed.

"She did? For what?"

"She caught ye up here with yer telescope, so she sent me up here tae make sure ye weren't peepin' on her." The Scottish mutant blushed slightly. Jester's jaw dropped.

"Rahne! I am surprised at you!" He mock admonished. The pilot shook his head and ran a hand through his short curly dark hair. "Believing such silly things people tell you about me. What kind of person does Dial-Up think I am?"

"Well, ye _did_ give her those flowers with that camera that spied on her in the shower." Rahne frowned.

"Hey, I didn't know that bouquet had the camera in it!" Jester frowned. "That smeghead Hardcase snuck it in! I just knew it!"

"Well, ye _did_ play all those pranks on him all the time." Rahne chuckled.

"He's a fun target. That's why." Jester grinned. Rahne looked up in the sky.

"Hey..." The Scottish werewolf pointed at a star. "Look at that star."

"Huh?" Jester blinked. "That's a shooting star."

"They aren't real stars, right?" Rahne asked.

"Nope." Jester grinned, looking up at the shooting star. "They're actually meteors that graze the Earth's atmosphere." He then frowned.

"What is it, Jester?" Rahne wondered.

"That's odd..." The pilot frowned. "That thing is getting bigger." He ran to his telescope and peeked up at the shooting star through it. "It looks like..." He zoomed in on the head of the shooting star. "It's some kind of metal sphere. And it looks like it's going to land not too far from here.

"I'll get Sunfire!" Rahne nodded. "He can get it right out of the air! Heat doesn't affect him!" The redhead raced down the ladder. A short time later, Jester saw a figure sheathed in a fiery aura streak through the sky towards the shooting star.

Shiro Yoshida, thanks to his mutant DNA, was naturally immune to radiation and intense heat, so he was able to safely approach the object and pluck it right out of the sky. He then streaked back towards Malibu Base. In the meantime, Jester had come down from his roof, and a small crowd had gathered.

"It was lucky I was still in uniform." Shiro remarked to himself. Naturally, costume was made to withstand his powers, and his clothes were treated just in case.

"What is that thing?" Jester blinked.

"It's no meteor, that's for sure." Quick-Kick frowned.

"Aye." Rahne agreed. "It looks man-made."

"We'd better get this to Hi-Tech." Shiro suggested. "He'll be able to figure out what this thing is."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like the madness will continue! What insanity will happen next? Will Vanna enter the eating contest? Is Torch really a business savant? What was that device Jester spotted? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_


	4. A Call for Help!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "We'll be at this all day." - Dorian Gray, _League of Extraordinary Gentlemen_**

Chapter 4: A Call for Help!

**A diner in the Midwest**

"More pancakes!" Vanna Creed demanded. "...please." The waitress blinked.

"Sweetie, don't you think you've had enough?" She asked. "You've already eaten seven platefuls." Vanna shook her head.

"Nope!" The blonde Sabertooth clone grinned widely. "I love these pancakes! I can't get enough!"

"How are you able to _eat_ all those pancakes?" The waitress blinked. "I'd be stuffed after two plates." Vanna shrugged.

"I dunno." The blonde admitted. "Some thingy about my metabolism. Somebody said that I'm tall or something and that gives me a lot of metabolism and that I need to eat a lot or something." Vanna scratched her head. "All I know is, I get hungry a lot. And I love to eat." The two chefs were watching this.

"Man, we _really_ gotta put her in that eating contest, brother." The first chef snickered. "She'd be _awesome!_"

"Sweetie, how are you going to pay for those pancakes?" The waitress remembered. "You have eaten quite a few."

"Uh..." Vanna blinked. "I dunno...I have no money. And I dunno where I can get some."

"Hey, how about she works it off for a while?" One of the chefs offered.

"Yeah!" The second chef agreed. "The kid likes pancakes so much, maybe she should get to see how we make 'em."

"Ooh..." Vanna grinned. "That sounds like fun!"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" The waitress frowned. "You think the boss won't mind?"

"She ain't trying to run away from the payment." The second chef noted.

"I was hungry. I wasn't thinking about money." Vanna frowned, scratching her head.

"Living on the streets, huh?" The waitress realized. Vanna nodded. "Well, I don't see why he wouldn't give her a job here to work off the pancakes."

"Oh boy!" Vanna grinned. "I get to make pancakes! This is going to be so much fun!" The waitress chuckled.

**The Xavier Institute**

Jean Grey and Scott Summers sat in the Common Room in the Xavier Institute. They were spellbound by the television, watching the action unfold on the screen.

"_That's it, Sylvia! I am leaving you for your brother!_" A male voice announced from the television, accompanied by a blast of organ music.

"I did _not_ see that coming." Scott's jaw dropped. "That blasted Trevor!"

"Neither did I." Jean nodded in agreement, popping some popcorn in her mouth. "Who would thought it?"

"Hey, you know, this show is actually pretty good." Scott admitted. "Pass me some popcorn."

"Hey there, fellow X-Guys and Gals." Jason Fox, Foxfire, grinned as he walked in. A native of Detroit, Foxfire had the power to shoot fire from his hands and turn invisible. His most defining trait besides his always-present red shades, which were on his head, was his bright orange hair, which he wore in a ponytail. The tip of the ponytail was bleached white. "Hey there, Dork-lops. What're doing, showing how pathetic you are?"

"Clam it up, Fox." Jean ordered. "We're watching this." Fox blinked at the TV.

"A soap opera." The Detroit native burst out laughing. "Summers, you really don't really need to go this far to prove how much of a wuss you are. We all know it, you don't need to remind us."

"Must you be such a smart alec?" Jean frowned.

"You know you love it, sweetcheeks." Fox winked with a grin. "I got great news."

"You're leaving?" Scott smirked.

"Hell no." Fox scowled. "My old man is unveiling his new car line, and he's going to invite ol' Chucky to the party."

"It's _Professor Xavier_, Fox." Jean corrected.

"You should watch this show, Fox." Scott suggested. "It's pretty good."

"_Oh my God! There's a dead dinosaur in the furnace!_" A feminine voice screamed from the TV, followed by a blast of organ music. Fox blinked.

"Whoa, never heard _that_ before!" Fox whistled in amazement.

"Yeah, see?" Scott nodded. "This is a good show."

"Anyway, my old man wants to unveil the new line of environmentally-friendly Fox Motors cars, the Demeter line, and he has invited ol' Professor Chucky..." Fox shot a grin at Jean, making the redhead roll her eyes. "To the unveiling."

"Ten bucks says quite a few anti-mutant protestors are going to be there when they hear that." Scott sighed.

"Why would anti-mutant protesters come to a car unveiling?" Jean frowned. "Sure, the Professor will be there..."

"Them FoH guys are idiots." Fox rolled his eyes. "That's why. I bet it takes five of those guys to figure out how to drink a cup of coffee."

"_Holy spit! Now that fat guy's eating the engine!_" A male voice screamed from the TV.

"Now _that's_ cool!" Fox grinned.

"Hey!" A voice yelled. The young mutants turned around and saw an angry Carlito standing at the window. "Don't steal Carlito's catchphrase! That's not cool!" The second-generation wrestler bit into his apple, chewed it, and then spit it at the window, covering it in chewed-up apple and spittle. "Whoops. Sorry. Carlito thought the window was open."

"You're cleaning that window, pal." Scott smirked.

**Malibu Base**

"_Doo de doo..._" The blonde Joe codenamed Hi-Tech hummed to himself in his lab. When Shiro Yoshida caught the strange metal sphere, the Malibu Joes told the young Japanese mutant to take it to Hi-Tech's lab, where the Joe electronics expert can analyze it.

The blond Joe had placed the sphere on a table with a lighted top, and started examining it with various tools. A couple more of the Malibu Joes were in the lab with him.

"Dude, that thing is totally weird. Maybe it's like, from another planet or something." The blond surfing-loving SEAL codenamed Wipe-Out blinked. "Only something from, like, another planet could give me the heebie-jeebies like this."

"Wipe-Out, you are a very strange person." Vorona frowned, shaking her head. A native of the Czech Republic, Vorona was a talented sniper and helicopter pilot. "You really believe in this alien stuff?"

"Hey, you know that adventure with the space bikers, dudette?" Wipe-Out reminded. "Aliens do exist." Vorona shook her head. **(1)**

"Believe me Wipe-Out, I did not question the existence of aliens. But I am wondering why aliens would send a sphere to Earth. It sounds strange." Vorona countered.

"Hey, the planet Krypton sent an object to Earth, and look what good came from that." Hi-Tech reminded.

"Superman is a comic book character, Hi-Tech." Vorona reminded. "And this sphere doesn't look like anything that an alien would cook up."

"That's because it isn't." Hi-Tech explained. "This thing was built on Earth. Or at least, with Earth hands."

"It came down from the sky." Vorona remembered. "It probably is just a piece of space junk."

"Space junk?" Wipe-Out blinked.

"Yes, space junk." Vorona answered. "Often, when astronauts travel through space, they leave garbage behind. It's left floating in orbit above the Earth."

"This ain't no piece of space junk." Hi-Tech shook his head. "This thing was designed to withstand reentry. And space junk is mostly discarded and lost things like gloves and wrenches..."

"Left socks..." Wipe-Out added with a snicker.

"Left socks?" Vorona blinked.

"Aw, come on dudette..." Wipe-Out rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me you never lost your left socks in the washing machine!"

"I certainly have not." Vorona sniffed. "I found myself often missing my right socks."

"Ah, I think I've figured it out!" Hi-Tech announced with a grin.

"You have, dude?" Wipe-Out blinked, scratching his blond hair-covered head.

"Yeah." Hi-Tech nodded, taking off his headband and wiping his brow. "This thing is some kind of communications module."

"You mean, someone is using this thing to send a message?" Vorona realized.

"Yup." Hi-Tech nodded, putting his headband back on. "And I think that I may have found the message inside." He pressed a switch inside the device. A hologram of Professor Miyamoto appeared on top of the sphere.

"_This is a message to any of Earth's superhuman heroes. If any of them can hear this, please come to our aid!_"

"I'm sorry, you guys." Hi-Tech shook his head. "That's all I could get. Nothing was damaged as far as I could tell, so I assume that was the whole message."

"By the way he sounded, he seemed to be in a total hurry, dude." Wipe-Out frowned, crossing his arms. "He totally didn't have time to give out a more thorough message."

"Yes." Vorona nodded in agreement. "Does any of you know who this man is?" She pointed at the hologram. Hi-Tech and Wipe-Out shook their heads. "Then we must find out who he is, and see why he needs help from Earth's heroes."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have been summoned! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes help the Professor? What is Cobra up to? How will Vanna do at her job? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – In one of my old fics, "Space Bikers Ahoy!"**


	5. We Need Transportation!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "Hey, who ate all the Pecan Sandies?" - Roger Smith, _Family Guy_ **

Chapter 5: We Need Transportation!

**The Xavier Institute**

"_That's it, Sylvia! I am leaving you for the maid!_" A male voice announced from the television, accompanied by a blast of organ music.

"Whoa, dude!" Jason Fox, Foxfire, gaped in shock. "That is cold, man! For the _maid?!_"

"Tell me about it." Scott agreed, eating some popcorn.

"I mean, what next? You leaving Jean for Emma Frost?" Fox looked at the optic blaster. Jean and Scott burst out laughing.

"Oh, that is rich! That is so rich!" Jean laughed.

"Yeah, like that'll ever happen." Scott shook his head.

"It would take some wacky tobaccy for _that_ to happen!" Jean laughed.

"Yeah." Scott slapped his knee. "I bet if that ever happened, Wanda will suddenly go bonkers and make the Avengers really miserable."

"What _are_ you guys watching?" Logan scowled as he walked in.

"_Sylvia, be careful! You know what happens when he eats after midnight!_"

"Doesn't he turn into the giant killer tomato?" Fox blinked.

"No, that's Kerry. Kenny turns into the giant killer cabbage." Jean explained.

"Giant...killer...cabbage?" The Canadian feral blinked.

"Long story, Mr. Logan." Jean explained.

"Oh, man..." Fox shook his head. Logan sighed and took the remote.

"Hey!" Jean exclaimed.

"It was just getting good, Mr. Logan!" Scott added.

"Yeah, I wanted to see the cabbage rampage! Maybe even eat that moronic rich guy." Fox added.

"This is ridiculous." The grizzled feral grunted, changing the channel.

"_I demand a shrubbery!_" An English-accented voice demanded from the TV.

"Oh, this is pretty funny." Fox blinked.

"_We are the Knights who say 'Ni'!_"

"This is stupid." Scott groaned.

"Stupid?! This is hilarious!" Fox laughed. "You're just too stupid to know good humor."

"Who can figure _this_ out?!" Scott gestured at the screen. "I doubt its own _creators_ can even figure this show out!"

"...I think the big foot is pretty funny." Jean admitted. "As well as the one with all the guys named Bruce."

"I like the Spanish Inquisition." Fox nodded. "That one is funny." Logan turned and saw the New Mutants playing an odd game in one of the yards. They were pitching around a basketball. Strangely, there were croquet hoops planted in places, a soccer goal, and a couple New Mutants held croquet mallets, and a couple more held baseball bats.

"New rule! New rule!" Amara Aquilla called. "No scoring from the red-ribboned loops after the score reaches Z13!"

"You can't call a new rule, Amara." Sam Guthrie reminded. "You're not in the New Rule Zone."

"Oh." Amara blinked.

"Yeah, I am!" Jesse Aaronson grinned. "And my new rule is you're only allowed to whack someone twice with the bat."

"Oh, come on!" Tabitha Smith whined. "That's the best part of this game!"

"What are they doing?" Logan blinked.

"Mutant Ball." Fox answered.

"Mutant Ball?" Logan frowned.

"Yeah." Scott nodded. "You ever read _Calvin and Hobbes?_"

"Do I _look_ like I read comics?" Logan frowned.

"Well, in _Calvin and Hobbes,_ Calvin and Hobbes play a game called Calvinball." Jean explained. "The game is a bizarre mix of football and croquet."

"The New Mutants thought it'd be fun to create their own game based on it." Scott concluded. "Surprisingly, it keeps my car from being wrecked." An explosion was heard.

"Oops!" Paige Guthrie yelped.

"Oh, great work, Paige! You wrecked Scott's car!" Ray Crisp yelled.

"Oh, man...why?" Scott moaned.

"Hey, what's going on outside?" Jean blinked.

"Paige, what were you thinking?!" Roberto Da Costa yelled.

"Were you outta your mind?!" Tabby screamed.

"Didn't you realize you weren't in the Scoring Zone?!" Bobby Drake added.

"It's not my fault!" Paige yelled. "I was expecting to get 30 points, not the Spanish Inquisition!" Suddenly, a very drunk Beast, Warren, and Zandar, dressed in red Catholic Cardinal robes, ran up to the group.

"_Nobody_ expects the Spanish Inqusition!" Beast yelled out.

"Oh, my God..." Fox burst out laughing. "This is great!"

"Is that Zandar again?" Jean blinked.

"Aw, man..." Scott groaned. "And I thought that incident in the Museum with the conquistadors was ridiculous!" **(1)**

**Malibu Base**

Several of the Malibu Joes were gathered around a meeting room. On a table in the center of the room was the round device that was launched from the space station.

"Well, now what do we do?" Jester sighed.

"Based on the base sensors' scans of the vehicle's trajectory..." Hi-Tech activated a screen, which showed a graphic of Earth and it's orbit. "...we have reason to believe that the device came from something orbiting the Earth at the 40 degree North latitude line."

"That line crosses Japan." The Japanese Joe known as Dial-Up realized. "You know, I have heard a rumor..."

"Rumor? What kind of rumor?" General Whithalf wondered.

"Well, General, I have heard that this rich genius from my country managed to build a space station that orbits over his hometown of Akita, Japan."

"That makes sense." Hi-Tech nodded. "Akita is close to the 40 degree north latitude line."

"A space station?!" Kicker's jaw dropped in shock. "How did he pull that off?!"

"You'd be surprised what the rich are capable of, Kicker." Dial-Up told the blonde Joe sagely. "Besides, they said he was rather eccentric?"

"How're we gonna get up there?" Hardcase frowned. "It's not like any of us has a spaceship on hand."

"We could try the East Coast guys." Footloose suggested. "They totally have a spaceship."

"Yeah, from another planet, dude." Wipe-Out shook his head.

"Besides, I think Toad and Wavedancer took it." Gunbarrel remembered. "They went out on a double date or something."

"Fantastic." Hardcase grumbled.

"Too bad." Jester chuckled. He then looked over at Dial-Up. "You know, I heard outer space is very romantic this time of year."

"Not on your life, Jester." The Japanese woman grunted, elbowing the prank-loving pilot. "I have contacted NASA."

"And?" Hardcase asked.

"They are unable to loan us a craft at the moment." She answered.

"Well, that's just great!" Hardcase groaned. "Now how are we going to get to space?!"

"They will have a shuttle available in a month." Dial-Up added.

"Not good enough." Whithalf frowned. "Based on the man's recording, it was urgent. We need to respond now!"

"What about the Avengers?" Jester offered. "Or the Fantastic Four? They gotta have a ship." Kicker suggested.

"I have inquired." Dial-Up nodded. "The Avengers are unavailable. And the Fantastic Four are currently working with the Inhumans."

"Great." Hardcase sighed. "And I doubt the X-Men have a ship." Jester snapped his fingers.

"Hey, I may know a guy who can help us out!" The pilot realized.

"Really?" Hardcase looked at Jester in disbelief.

"Yeah!"

"Who is he?" Kicker wondered.

"Well, he lives in Arkansas." Jester explained. "I met him at a race track there. Nice guy, real genius with mechanics. He's a former trucker who runs a garage now. He's also the local superhero of Little Rock, Arkansas."

"Little Rock?!" Gunbarrel realized. "You know Razorback?!"

"Yeah. Had some beers with him. Nice guy. I think he may have a rocketship." Jester nodded.

"...you gotta be kidding me." Hardcase groaned.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes may have a shot at making it to space! What insanity will happen next? Can the New Mutants survive the Spanish Inquisition? How well will the Joes get along with Razorback? Can the Malibu Joes and the West Coast Misfits save Space City? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! **_

**(1) – In rogue scholar-07's one-shot "Drinking Buddies", Beast and Zandar drank a little too much tequila and ended up trying to steal gold from an Aztec exhibit at the Bayville Museum. It's a funny one-shot! Read it!**


	6. Meet Razorback!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!" - Kyle Broflovski, _South Park_**

Chapter 6: Meet Razorback!

**The Xavier Institute**

"_That's it, Sylvia! I'm leaving you for your mother!_" A male voice yelled from the television, accompanied by a blast of organ music. Wolverine's eyebrow raised.

"Damn." The grizzled feral blinked. "And that mother is an ugly woman." He turned and saw Jean, Scott, and Fox were staring out the window. "What're you all looking at it?"

"The Spanish Inqusition is at it again." Foxfire snickered. "It's a classic! You gotta check this out." He pointed out the window.

"Our chief weapon is surprise..." Cardinal Beastenez started to rant. "Surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise..." The New Mutants' reaction to this was varied. Some stood there and blinked in disbelief. Others snickered.

"...I do not understand this..." Amara blinked.

"British humor, 'Mara." Tabitha shook her head. Bobby Drake started laughing and clutching his stomach.

"Our two weapons are fear and surprise..._and_ ruthless efficiency..." Beast continued to rant as Cardinal Beastenez.

"Is somebody taping this?" Bobby laughed. "Please tell me somebody is taping this! Somebody's _got_ to be recording this! We could send it the Monty Python fan section on ViewTube!"

"A Monty Python fan section?" Jesse blinked.

"Yeah." Bobby nodded. "People reenacting classic sketches or playing Pythonesque pranks. A lot of those videos are hilarious. Me and Jamie did a tribute to the Cheese Shop sketch."

"I think that's silly." Tabby frowned.

"Really?" Bobby smirked. "I saw a reenactment of The Lumberjack Song you and Ray did. Ray's a pretty good singer." Ray smiled proudly at that.

"Ray, you sang about a cross-dressing lumberjack." Roberto reminded.

"It's a funny song, da Costa." Ray grumbled. "And besides, at least I wasn't the one who decided to put on a dress." He snickered. Roberto's face reddened.

"I lost a bet, you son of a-!" The enraged Brazilian tackled the ex-Morlock. The two mutants started rolling on the ground, trading punches and cursing each other out.

"Here we go again..." Bobby sighed.

"Tabby, we should stop them."

**Little Rock, Arkansas**

"Okay, Jester..." Hardcase frowned as he, Jester, Kicker, and Quick Kick of the Malibu Joes materialized in front of a large garage in downtown Little Rock. Alongside the heroic soldiers were members of the West Coast Misfits: Rahne Sinclair, the Scottish werewolf Wolfsbane. Theresa Rourke, the Irish screamer Siryn. Terrell Mason, the aerokinetic speedster Velocity. Shiro Yoshida, the Japanese solar-energy manipulating Sunfire.

"Is this the place?" Hardcase asked.

"Yup." Jester nodded. "This is it. This is where he works when he's not protecting Little Rock."

"What kind of cars does he work on?" Theresa wondered.

"Oh, just about everything." Jester explained. "Man's a genius with everything mechanical."

"Who is Razorback, anyway?" Rahne blinked.

"He's the local superhero of Little Rock, Arkansas." Kicker explained.

"Yeah, they say he used to be a trucker." Terrell remembered.

"He was." Jester confirmed with a nod as he walked up to the door and knocked on it.

"Say, how do you know this guy?" Quick-Kick wondered.

"Bar Brawl. Me, Firestorm, Gunbarrel, and Rock 'n' Roll. Don't ask." Jester shook his head.

"Why does that not surprise me?" Hardcase frowned. A pretty young woman, dressed in tight jeans and a NASCAR t-shirt, answered the door.

"Hello?" She asked, her voice having a Southern lit. "How may Ah help you?"

"Hello nurse..." Terrell's jaw dropped as he looked the beautiful woman over.

"Down, speedy..." Theresa and Rahne put their hands on Terrell's shoulders as a way of holding him back.

"Hey there, Bobby Sue." Jester grinned. The woman's face lit up.

"Jerry!" She whooped, grabbing Jester in a big hug.

"Nice to see you too, girl." Jester chuckled. "Everybody, this is Bobby Sue Hollis." Jester introduced the young woman to the gang. "She's Razorback's little sister. This is Quick-Kick, Kicker, and the happy guy with the buzz cut is Hardcase. And these are four of the West Coast Misfits. The blonde girl in the green-and-yellow is Siryn."

"Nice tae meet ye." Theresa smiled.

"This is Wolfsbane." Jester motioned to Rahne. "She likes bacon." Hardcase groaned.

"How are ye?" Rahne inquired with a smile.

"Those two have some odd accents." Bobby Sue blinked. "They from out of town?"

"Siryn is from Ireland." Jester explained. "And Wolfsbane is from Scotland." Bobby Sue nodded.

"That explains the accents."

"That's Velocity and Sunfire." Jester finished his introduction.

"...Ya wanna go to McD's sometime?" Terrell grinned hopefully.

"Velocity!" Theresa and Rahne smacked the speedster upside the head in unison.

"We are here to acquire the services of a rocketship." Shiro explained.

"Down to business already, huh?" Bobby Sue chuckled.

"Time is of the essence, Miss." Shiro explained.

"Oh, just call me Bobby Sue." Bobby Sue chuckled. "Come on inside. Buford is expecting you."

"Buford?" Hardcase blinked.

"Buford Hollis. Mah brother's name. His identity is public." Bobby Sue explained as she brought the group inside the garage. "It ended up that way when he saved the life of a government official a year ago."

"Oh, I heard about that." Kicker remembered. "Heck of a brawl."

"It was a good thing it wasn't discovered he was a mutant." Bobby Sue sighed.

"A mutant, huh?" Hardcase cocked his head in curiosity. "What kind of powers does he have?"

"His powers are kind of unique." Bobby Sue explained with a chuckle. "He can enter any vehicle and instantly figure out how to drive it. He got his license real easy as a kid."

"Wow." Kicker blinked.

"_That..._is his power?" Hardcase's jaw dropped.

"That...is a very unique power." Shiro blinked.

"Hey, we cannae all fly or shoot energy beams." Rahne countered. "I'm sure his power is useful in its own way."

"You're right about that, little lady. It's sure gotten me outta some jams." A deep-toned male voice chuckled. The gang turned around and saw a powerfully-built man walk up to them. He stood over seven feet tall, and was about four hundred pounds of muscle. He was clad in a green costume with a yellow belt covered in pouches, and had matching boots and gloves. However, what made him really stand out was the fact that he was wearing a hood that resembled a fearsome-looking wild boar, complete with tusks. The hood only left his chin and mouth exposed.

"Now there is a man who has eaten a lot of beef." Terrell whispered.

"Everybody, this is mah big brother, Razorback." Bobby Sue introduced with a grin. Razorback chuckled.

"Well, Ah must say, Ah was right honored when GI Joe asked to use mah rocketship." The powerful ex-trucker chuckled as he shook Hardcase's hand.

_Geeze!_ The blond buzzcut-wearing Joe tried not to wince at the power in Razorback's hand. _The man's got a helluva grip! He could break my hand if he wanted to!_

"Oh yeah, Hardcase. I just remembered. Razorback here is no slouch in strength. He isn't exactly Thunderbird, but he can hold his own." Jester remembered as Razorback released his grip.

"Now ya tell me." Hardcase hissed slightly, rubbing his hand.

"We really appreciate you letting us use your rocketship, Mr. Hollis." Quick-Kick thanked sincerely. Razorback chuckled.

"Buddy, it was mah pleasure helpin' out GI Joe. Oh, and there's no need for that Mr. Hollis stuff. You can call me Buford or Razorback."

"If I may ask, Razorback, what made you want to take up the costumed hero life?" Theresa inquired.

"Well..." Razorback adjusted his glove. "Ah made the costume to help rescue mah little sister from a cult. Ah had some help from Spider-Man. Ah tell yuh, thet Jameson guy really needs to leave the man alone. Weren't for Spidey, Ah'd be an only child." **(1)**

"Anyway Razorback, we could use that rocket of yours." Hardcase continued.

"No problem. Right this way." Razorback waved. "Ah guarantee yuh, the Big Pig'll get you there."

"Big Pig?" Hardcase frowned.

"That's what he calls _all_ his vehicles." Bobby Sue explained.

"How does he tell the difference?" Hardcase blinked.

"He just does." Bobby Sue smiled.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are hitting the Big Black! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes stop Cobra? What're they up to? Can the X-Men deal with the Spanish Inquisition? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! **_

**(1) – A nod to Razorback's first appearance in the comics. He first appeared in _Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man _#12 from November 1977, created by Bill Mantlo, Sal Buscema, and the late great Archie Goodwin. In that and the next issue, he and Spider-Man joined forces to rescue Razorback's little sister, Bobby Sue, from a religious cult.**


	7. A Little Plot Advancement!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "I can keep eatiiiiiiiing!" - Debra Wilson as Oprah Winfrey, _Mad TV_**

**As per rogue-scholar's request, I decided to bring back the profile section! And I decidedto profile one of the Malibu Joes: Kicker!**

**Kicker**

**Full Name: **Amber Newman

**First Appearance:** (L1701E's Misfitverse) "Welcome to Malibu Base!"

**Affiliation:** United States Army

**Primary Military Specialty:** Silent Weapons

**Secondary Military Specialty:** Hand-to-Hand Combat Instruction

**Birthplace:** Bangor, Maine

**Bio:** Kicker first got involved with the GI Joe team as a student of Quick Kick's. The two bonded and formed a romance over a mutual love of movies. Her curiosity over GI Joe led her to be accidentally labeled a Cobra spy, but she helped expose the real spy, the Baroness, who was after a laser guidance system that Cobra Commander wanted to carve his face on the moon. After that adventure, Kicker was inspired by the incident to join the Army, and hopefully win a spot on the Joe team. When she did, she, alongside her boyfriend Quick Kick, were assigned to a second Joe base in Malibu, California. There, she plays den mother to the Malibu Joes' wards, the West Coast Misfits.

**Note:** Kicker first appeared in the 1980s GI Joe cartoon episode "Lasers in the Night". When I needed characters for the Malibu Joe force, I revived her and updated her. Her last name is a tribute to the late actor/race car driver/philanthropist Paul Newman.

Chapter 7: A Little Plot Advancement!

**Dreadnok HQ**

"Move over, Buzzer!" Ripper snapped at the blond English Dreadnok. The former professor was playing a Donkey Kong arcade game console that the bikers had...obtained from an arcade.

"No way!" Buzzer snapped at the brown-mohawked Dreadnok. "I am just about to get the high score!"

"Yeah, right!" Ripper laughed out loud. "You'll never beat Zanya's high score!"

"Yeah, I will." Buzzer growled. "I've been around a lot longer than she is! I remember playing this game when I was younger! I'm more experienced than she is! I should have that top score! Me!"

"Uh huh." Ripper smirked. "Mate, you've been playing that thing for days! You've been hogging it! Now move over!"

"No, don't!" Buzzer yelled. "You'll make me-!" The game over chime could be heard from the console. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

"Well, you shoulda bloody moved over!" Ripper chuckled.

"Nooooooo! Nooooo..." Buzzer moaned. "No no no no no no..." He started banging his head on the console. "I was so close...I was so damned close! Why? Why? Why why why why?"

"Now can I have a turn?" Ripper scratched the back of his head. "I mean, you're not playing anymore, and um..."

"You shut up!" Buzzer snapped angrily. "This was all your bloody fault! If it weren't for you, I would've gotten the high score!"

"Hey, you were hogging the bloody thing!" Ripper argued. "And besides, you need to relax. It's just a game."

"Why you little-!" Buzzer snarled.

_**POW!**_

"Agh, me nose!" Ripper yelped, holding his nose. "Alright, punk! That's it!" Ripper tackled Buzzer to the ground and the two Dreadnoks started trading punches. The two Dreadnoks rolled around on the ground, wrestling and cursing each other out. "You little blighter! I'll break your face!"

"I'd like to see you try, you little plonker! OW! MY NOSE!" The blond Dreadnok snarled. Unnoticed to the two Dreadnoks, a third had walked into the room. It was Torch, the red-haired Australian Dreadnok known for his usage of the flamethrower.

"Hey, Buzzer finally gave up the Donkey Kong! Alright! That is so ripper!" The redhaired Dreadnok whooped with a big grin as he ran up to the arcade machine and started playing. "Maybe this time I can finally get past the first bloody level! God, I hate those barrels!"

**Space City**

"Hmmm..." Destro frowned as he stared out at the interior of Space City from the city's command center. "Does Professor Miyamoto's daughter suspect anything?" He asked Zartan.

"Naw." Zartan got up from Professor Miyamoto's wheelchair. He was disguised as the Professor. "I needed to stretch my legs. And as for Miss Kimiko Miyamoto, she was completely oblivious. She's in her quarters right now." The ninja Dreadnok smirked. "I told you, never underestimate my disguise skills. Although I should warn you, you'd better keep the Cobra guys out of sight." Destro nodded.

"It's a big station. We brought a small force here, so I can do that. How is Virus doing with the modifications?"

"I have no idea." Zartan shrugged. Destro sighed.

"We'd better call him." Destro pressed a button. "Virus. Virus, come in. Where are you?" Outside the station, Virus was working. Clad in a space suit and his Battle Pack, the insane young English mutant was welding a cannon onto the station's hull. Several robots were aiding him. "Virus, come in!"

"What the bloody 'ell do you want?!" The young inventor snapped impatiently.

"Are you finished with the modifications?" Destro asked.

"What the bloody 'ell do you think?!" Virus grumbled. "I'm working as fast as I can. But I am grateful for one thing. The old fart decided to use an automated workforce, so I'm ahead of schedule. I'm glad the old fart didn't use human workers. They'd be so bloody demanding: 'We want breaks! We wanna go home! We wanna go see our families!' Feh!" The English mutant scowled.

"...we really need to take him to a psychiatrist." Zartan sighed.

**Little Rock, Arkansas**

A dome on the roof of the Hollis Garage opened up, like the bud of a blooming flower. And from the hole emerged a Space Shuttle-like vehicle. A slight crowd started to form around the garage.

"Y'all ready to hit orbit?" Razorback grinned. He was sitting in the pilot's seat of his shuttle. In the navigator's seat sat Jester. The heroes weer amazed by the fact that Razorback was able to build a rocket in the middle of a major metropolitan area. What amazed them even more was that the rocket had a Space Shuttle-like vehicle as the top of it. Razorback himself had explained that the rocket would give the thrust needed to reach space, and the shuttle could land like an airplane and be re-used. In fact, Razorback had said that he and the She-Hulk used it to visit a truck stop in space.

"Everything checks out..." Jester answered, pressing some buttons. "Although, to be honest, I'm not too familiar with anything that goes into orbit."

"Don't ya worry, kid." Razorback chuckled. "This baby's so easy to operate, a four-year-old could fly it."

"Then it's definitely beyond Jester's ability to handle." Hardcase smirked from his seat in the passenger area. He, the Malibu Joes, and the West Coast Misfits were sitting in the passenger area, all strapped in and in spacesuits.

"Oh, stop." Quick-Kick sighed. "I just hope we get home in one piece. Kicker and I are going to hold a little Godzilla movie marathon."

"Godzilla?" Terrell groaned. "Oh, fantastic! Like _those_ movies aren't repetitive. He does the same thing in every movie. He fights a monster and wrecks a city in _every single movie._"

"If it works, stick with it. Godzilla movies were never meant tae be cerebral." Theresa shrugged.

"Ah never seen any of those movies." Razorback explained as he continued his checks. "I don't speak Japanese."

"They did dub some of them in English." Shiro replied. "But do not get me started on that abomination you Americans called Godzilla. He was vastly inferior to the true Godzilla. They even proved it in a movie." **(1)**

"Oh yeah, I saw it." Quick-Kick nodded. "The American Godzilla didn't stand a chance against the original, heh heh."

"...I liked the one from the cartoon." Rahne blinked. **(2)**

"That one was much less insulting." Shiro nodded.

"You kids have some interesting hobbies." Razorback blinked.

"We live with two movie nuts." Terrell shrugged.

"Anyway, we're ready to launch." Razorback announced. "Where do you boys want to go?"

"Our destination is on geosynchronous orbit over Japan." Jester explained. "On the 40 degree North latitude line."

"Over Japan, huh?" Razorback blinked.

"Yup." Jester confirmed.

"There's a space station over Akita, Japan." Kicker explained.

"Kicker, don't." Hardcase warned. "That was need to know."

"Razorback insisted on coming with us, Hardcase." Quick-Kick nodded. "He's the only one who can pilot this thing. Jester's good, but he's not familiar with this stuff."

"Aye." Theresa agreed with a nod. "And besides, if he sees the station, he's going tae ask questions."

"And besides, Hardcase, it's not like the Joes' mission isn't public. I got a bad feeling those Cobra clowns are up to something." Kicker sighed.

"Is this some kinda top secret military thing?" Razorback blinked. "Am I in trouble or something?"

"Don't ye worry, Mr. Razorback." Rahne reassured with a smile. "It'll be fine. The Joes work with civilians all the time."

"Yeah, it's part of the job." Jester added.

"Okay... Razorback blinked. "Anyway, we're ready for launch."

"I've never been into space before. I have to admit, I am a little excited." Kicker grinned.

"Neither have I." Rahne agreed with a nod of her head.

"Oh, if my family could see me now..." Terrell chuckled. "I'm the first Mason to go into space! I'm hot stuff, baby!"

"I wish I had a camera." Theresa smiled. "I'd have some pictures to send tae Moira and Da."

"I hope I packed my Dramamine." Hardcase sighed. "Jester's helping fly this thing. I'm gonna need it."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like the craziness is about to hit orbit! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the day? Will Torch get past the first level in Donkey Kong? Will Virus ever stop complaining? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – Toho, the Japanese film company that brought Godzilla to the world, calls the 1998 American Godzilla "Zilla". In the film _Godzilla: Final Wars_, the American Godzilla battles the original Godzilla in Australia. The fight only lasts seconds, with the American Godzilla getting dominated by the original and his nuclear breath.**

**(2) – _Godzilla: The Series_, set after the 1998 movie. The Godzilla of the series took some nods from the original Japanese version, having atomic breath, and being just as powerful as the original.**


	8. Docking!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "You know what, Lois? They're not the same thing. And the sooner you get that through your thick skull, the sooner we can get this marriage back on track." - Peter Griffin, _Family Guy_**

Chapter 8: Docking!

**And here's another Malibu Joe profile for you: Gunbarrel!**

**Gunbarrel**

**Real Name:** Jack Hunter

**First Appearance:** "Welcome to Malibu Base!"

**Affiliation: **United States Army, Sergeant

**Primary Military Specialty:** Infantry

**Secondary Military Specialty:** Weapons Ordnance, Electronic Weapons

**Hair: **Brown (Short and curly)** Eyes: **Blue

**Birthplace:** Boise, Idaho

**Bio:** Like many Joes, Gunbarrel has a quirk. In his case, his quirk is his obsessive love of guns. He grew up in his aunt and uncle's farm, where he became very fond of hunting. He has expertise on all sorts of handheld and even vehicular-mounted weaponry. He always has the right gun for the job. Despite his crazy obsession with all things with triggers, he is actually a friendly, sociable man. The Army sent him to the Joe team not only because his skills made him worthy, they also sent him because "it was the perfect place for the gun-nut!"

**Note:** This character was inspired by the character of Tackleberry of the _Police Academy_ movies.

Chapter 8:

**The Dreadnok Base, Florida**

"Ohhhhhh..." Ripper and Buzzer moaned. The two of them were in bodycasts, lying in the Dreadnoks' infirmary.

"Well, well, well, look at you two." Zarana chuckled as she entered the room. "Now how did this happen?"

"It was Ripper's fault." Buzzer moaned.

"Like hell!" Ripper snapped weakly. "All I asked was if he was done playing his game."

"And you wrecked my concentration as a result!" The blond-haired Buzzer moaned melodramatically. "Thanks to him, my dream of beating Zanya's high score in Donkey Kong is forever shattered into millions of tiny pieces."

"You gotta be kidding me..." Zarana sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes tight. The pink-haired Dreadnok felt a headache coming on.

"Oh, give me a break!" The brown-mohawked Ripper snapped. "You were hogging the bloody thing!"

"You ruined my dream of beating Zanya!" Buzzer wailed.

"Beating Zanya?" Zarana blinked. A thump was heard at the doorway. Zarana turned and saw Torch at the door. The red-haired Australian Dreadnok was standing at the doorway, dressed in a denim suit...with the sleeves ripped off.

"Have you seen me reports?!" Torch exclaimed in a panic.

"Whaaaaaa...?" Zarana blinked.

"My reports!" Torch exclaimed. "The quarterly reports! I need them to show the guys at the soda company our performance the past couple months!"

"Uhhhh..." Zarana blinked, completely unsure of what to think of what she had just heard. "I'm not sure..."

"Oh _GOD!_" Torch exclaimed, running away. "Where did I put those bloody things?!"

"Riiiiiight..." The pink-haired Dreadnok blinked in disbelief.

"Ripper, this is your fault!" Buzzer continued. "I wouldn't be in here if it weren't!"

"You are asking for a black eye, mate!" Ripper snapped.

"Bring it on, you bloody pillock!" Buzzer yelled. The two Dreadnoks tried to move in their body casts, cursing each other out, but they only ended up wobbling slightly in their beds, causing said beds to squeak and groan.

"Oh, God..." Zarana groaned. "It's like babysitting five-year-olds. No wait, five-year-olds would be more mature."

**Little Rock, Arkansas**

The city of Little Rock witnessed the rocket erupt from the Hollis Garage. Shining thanks to the sun, the rocket seemed to sprout from the roof, shooting upwards into the sky.

"WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The West Coast Misfits screamed.

"This is awesome!" Terrell whooped with a wide grin.

"My stomach..." Rahne moaned.

"Why didn't you take the Dramamine I gave you?" Kicker wondered.

"It makes me drowsy..." Rahne moaned.

"Me brains are going intae me feet..." Theresa groaned.

"YEEEEEEE-HAH!" Jester whooped in delight. "THIS IS FREAKIN' INCREDIBLE! I LOVE BEING A JOE!"

"I'm glad _he's_ enjoying this." Hardcase grumbled.

"I have to admit, this is exciting." Quick-Kick grinned.

"Hang on, everyone!" Razorback ordered. "Flights into space can get pretty bumpy!"

"Does everyone have on their seatbelts?" Kicker asked.

"I think you'd know if we didn't." Shiro answered.

"Yeah, we'd be bouncin' up all over this place!" Terrell nodded. A thumping was heard. "What was that?!"

"Nothin' to worry about, son." Razorback reassured. "The rocket's just jettisonin' a stage. Give us a bit of a push."

"Oh, like the old Saturn V rockets." Jester realized.

"We're almost in orbit!" Theresa noticed. "I'm seeing stars."

"I'm seeing green..." Rahne moaned, holding her stomach.

"Rahne, are you okay?" Kicker asked concernedly.

"Me stomach..." The Scottish redhead moaned.

"Yeah, thet's perfectly natural." Razorback reassured. "The human body has difficulty adjusting to the rigors of space. It's kinda like seasickness."

"Or airsickness." Jester added. "Some people have trouble adjusting to that stuff."

"Yeah, I admit, I am feeling a little dizzy meself." Theresa nodded. Another thump was heard.

"And that was the last stage." Razorback announced. "The shuttle's going on its own power now."

"And we're in orbit!" Jester grinned. The gang looked out the windows.

"Wow..." They gasped in unison.

"Look at all those stars..." Kicker grinned in amazement. "They're so beautiful..."

"Aye." Theresa agreed. "They sure are."

"Those stars are the second nicest things I've ever seen." Quick Kick smiled, looking at Kicker.

"Oh, you..." The blonde woman blushed.

"Never see anything this nice back in the 'hood." Terrell nodded.

"It is quite a sight..." Shiro nodded.

"Big deal." Hardcase grunted. "You see one star, you've seen 'em all."

"You are so fun, you know that?" Jester chuckled.

"Hey, is thet yer space station?" Razorback pointed ahead. Sunfire went up to the cockpit and took a look. Through the windows, one could see a large space station.

"That must be it." He nodded.

"Ah'm gonna hail 'em." Razorback pressed some buttons on a control pad.

**Space City**

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

"Zartan, we are being hailed." Destro announced. He pressed a button, and on a screen, Razorback's shuttle could be seen. "Hmmm..."

"That's not a NASA shuttle." Zartan frowned. "And it's not the Fantastic Four's Pogo Plane. Can this thing zoom in?" Destro pressed another button, and the screen zoomed in on the cockpit, revealing Sunfire, Jester, and Razorback. "It's the Joes!"

"I recognize Jester and Sunfire from the West Coast group." Destro frowned. "But who is that man in the boar mask?"

"Probably a new recruit." Zandar grunted. "Let them dock. I'll take care of 'em."

"What do you intend to do?" Destro wondered.

"Meet them in disguise and convince them nothing is wrong." Zartan grinned. "Alert Virus and tell him to get in here and stay out of sight."

"Done." Destro nodded. "He said just in case, he made a trap for the Joes if they figure it out."

**Razorback's shuttle**

"We got the all clear." Razorback gave a thumbs-up. "Everyone, we're going in."

"This is going to be quite interesting." Shiro smirked. "It's going to be quite an honor to meet the legendary Professor Miyamoto."

"I'm excited to be on an actual space station." Jester grinned. Razorback chuckled.

"Pal, let me take you to the Star Stop sometime." The mutant trucker laughed. "The food there is literally out of this world."

"The Star Stop?" Quick Kick wondered.

"The first ever American-style truck stop in space." Razorback grinned.

"You gotta be kidding." Hardcase shook his head.

"Haven't you figured it out by now, man?" Terrell chuckled. "When you work with the Misfits, you see and hear the craziest things."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are going to get their first taste of space station life! What insanity will happen next? Will Torch find his reports? Will Ripper and Buzzer ever settle things? How will the West Coast Misfits handle Space City? What nasty tricks does Virus have in store? Will I ever stop asking stupid questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_


	9. Meet the Professor!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "I want you! I want you!" - Apollo Creed, _Rocky_**

Chapter 9: Meet the Professor!

**Here's a new profile for you! This time, it's a profile of one of the powerhouses of the West Coast Misfit team: Thunderbird!**

**Thunderbird**

**Real Name:** John Proudstar

**First Appearance:** "Christmas Chaos!"

**Affiliation:** West Coast Misfits

**Hair:** Black (chin-length) **Eyes:** Brown

**Powers and Abilities:** John Proudstar's mutant abilities make him, essentially, a super-athlete. His most famous power is his superhuman-level strength. However, he also possesses superhuman speed (in running speed, only Velocity is faster. He is fast enough to outrun an American Bison), superhuman-level agility, endurance, reflexes, and stamina. He is also incredibly durable, but lacks true invulnerability. His mutation also makes him a large and powerful body.

**Birthplace:** An Apache reservation in Camp Verde, Arizona.

**Bio: **Born in an reservation, Proudstar hated life there. As a child, he would hear his grandfather's stories about the Apache's warrior past, and he felt reservation life had made his fellow tribesmen complacent. As a teenager, his powers emerged when he rescued a little girl from a charging bison. He would also befriend a traveling Ace Starr, aka Wildstar.

When the X-Men and the Misfits were attacked by the android known as the Mimic, Proudstar was one of the mutants Ace had gathered to help fight it. After the Mimic's defeat, Proudstar became one of the original West Coast Misfits. He joined to bring pride to his tribe, and to prove to the world that he was a warrior in the tradition of his Apache ancestors.

**The Xavier Institute**

"Well, that game was wrecked." Jesse Aaronson grumbled as he walked into the Institute.

"I dunno." Bobby Drake shrugged as he accompanied the electronics-scrambler inside. "It's really hard to wreck a game of Mutant Ball. It's designed for stuff like this."

"Hey, guys." Fox waved at the two New Mutants. "Wanna watch this?" He pointed at the TV. Bobby and Jesse looked at each other for a moment.

"Yeah, sure." The two New Mutants shrugged before joining Fox at the TV. They then saw Logan watching it.

"What're you watching , Mr. Logan?" Jesse wondered.

"Some show." Wolverine shrugged.

"_Oh mah Gawd, he drove the race car into the living room! Mah couch! It was bad enough Ah had to deal with that damn bear!_" Bobby and Jesse burst out laughing.

"I remember the bear." Bobby chuckled.

"You know Scott, I do have to admit..." Jean blinked as she watched the drunk Beast, Warren, and Zandar, dressed as the Spanish Inquisition, try to "interrogate" the New Mutants. "...this is funny." She and Scott were watching the scene out the window.

"You got a point there, Jean..." Scott nodded in agreement. "Those three do a pretty good impersonation."

"The interrogation is not working, Cardinal Beastenez!" The drunk Zandar exclaimed, as he repeatedly smacked Paige Guthrie, the blonde epidermic metamorph codenamed Husk, with a pillow. However, Paige had husked into a steel form, so the blows really didn't affect her. "I can't get a confession out of her!"

"If it helps, you are really annoying me." Paige frowned, crossing her arms.

"Oh, she's getting mad..." Sam winced. "If Ah were Zandar, Ah'd stop and hit somethin' else." Paige then snatched the pillow.

"Uh oh..." Zandar blinked blearily.

"YAH!" Paige started smacking Zandar with the pillow. It didn't help the pink-haired drunken Dreadnok that in her current steel form, Paige could really pack a punch.

"OW OW OW OW OW!" Zandar yelped as he ran away, covering his head with his arms.

"COME BACK HERE!" Paige yelled as she gave chase, swinging the pillow like a madwoman. Jean and Scott burst out laughing as they witnessed this event.

"Ha ha! Look at her go!" Jean whooped. "Go, Paige!"

"Paige, calm down!" Sam ordered as he ran after a furious Paige. "Put that pillow down before you hurt somebody!"

"Ah _am_ hurting somebody!"

"Somebody we _care_ about!"

**Space City**

Razorback's shuttle successfully docked with the station.

"Alright, everyone." The Arkansas mutant announced. "We're docked. Pressure's equalized."

"Let's do this." Jester unbuckled his restraints. "You guys, can I say something?"

"We all already know that you are a moron, Jester. Give it up." Hardcase grunted as he unbuckled himself from his seat.

"No, it's just my Spider-Sense is tingling." Jester explained.

"Yuh got that Spider-Sense thing, too?" Razorback blinked in amazement. "Hunh. Ah thought Spidey only had thet."

"He doesn't." Hardcase explained. "The man just likes to be an idiot."

"Oh, let him be, 'case." Quick-Kick rolled his eyes. "You know how Jester is. He loves to make his jokes."

"Laugh it up, you guys." Jester rolled his eyes. "But if I were you guys, I'd listen to my gut. As a great actor said as two great heroes, I got a bad feeling about this."

"Whatever, Jester." Hardcase grunted.

"Okay, kids. We're going on board a space station, so I expect you lot on your best behavior." Kicker warned.

"We'll be fine, Kicker." Siryn reassured. "Well...tae be honest...ye can count on me and Rahne, but I'm nae sure about Shiro and Terrell."

"Amusing, Siryn." Shiro rolled his eyes as he put on his Sunfire mask.

"You are real hilarious, girl." Terrell shook his head. The blonde Irishwoman laughed.

"Relax, boys. I meant no harm." Theresa chuckled.

"Razorback, you don't mind if we take the lead on this, do you?" Quick-Kick asked the powerhouse Arkansas trucker/mechanic.

"This involves ya GI Joe guys, so Ah don't mind." Razorback shrugged. "Ah'll stay back here to guard the ship."

"You should come with us, Razorback." Jester suggested. "If Cobra is on board this station, then we could use all the help we can get."

"Ah dunno..." Razorback shook his head. "Ah don't wanna get in the way. Ah'm sure yuh Joes have got all kinds of contingency plans for stuff like this."

"You'd be surprised." Hardcase answered dryly.

"Hey, we've worked with civilians and superheroes before." Quick-Kick reassured. "We are prepared for that."

"Well, if yuh say so..." Razorback shrugged. "Sure, Ah'll help ye guys out."

"Thank you, Razorback." Kicker smiled. The group began to disembark from the ship.

"Hey bro, you ever thought about joining the West Coast Misfits?" Velocity asked Razorback. The big pig-hooded Arkansas native chuckled.

"Naw." Razorback chuckled. "Ah'm perfectly happy protectin' Little Rock." The group exited the ship and looked around the docking bay it was in. "Wow." The obviously impressed trucker's jaw dropped. The docking bay was a very large white room, with a large canopy built into the far wall, "Lookit this place! It's bigger than the back end of a blue whale on steroids."

"And this is just one room." Jester nodded.

"Say _what?!_" Velocity's jaw dropped at Razorback.

"_Must_ you use such strange metaphors?" Sunfire frowned.

"Old habit, son." Razorback chuckled.

"Where is the old guy that is running this place?" Hardcase grumbled. "For a distress call, this sure is taking a long time."

"Maybe he's in danger." Jester suggested. "This place is deserted."

"Actually, I have heard rumors that the man who built this station lives only with his daughter here." Sunfire remembered.

"She has a daughter?" Velocity's ears perked up.

"Yes." Sunfire nodded. "I do not believe she is much older than us."

"Ohhh, yeah!" The Compton-born speedster whooped in delight. "I _knew_ there'd be something good about this mission! Is she cute?! Please tell me she's cute!"

"Settle down, speedy." Hardcase ordered.

"You are no fun, man." Velocity grunted.

"We'd better get moving and find this Professor guy." Hardcase told the heroes. "If he's in danger, then we got no time for screwing around..." He shot a glance at Terrell. "Or cheesy pick-up lines."

"There is no need, heroes." A voice announced. The gang noticed a certain elder Japanese man in a white hoverchair.

"Doctor Miyamoto, I presume?" Quick-Kick asked.

"Yes." The man nodded. "I am Professor Gunpei Miyamoto. And I do wish to know what GI Joe is doing here in my station." **(1)**

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have just met the man behind Space City! What insanity will happen next? What did Cobra to the Professor? Will Husk kill Zandar? Does anyone really care of Zandar? Can the Joes and the West Coast Misfits save the day? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – Professor Miyamoto's first name, Gunpei, is a nod to the late Gunpei Yokoi, the man who created the original Game Boy, and produced the _Metroid_ series.**


	10. Welcome Wagon!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "Bang, bang!" - Mick Foley**

Chapter 10: Welcome Wagon!

**And it's Profile Time once again! Another West Coast Misfit is profiled, the wild 'n' wacky Wildstar!**

**Wildstar**

**Real Name:** Ace Starr

**First Appearance: **"Hotter than Hellion"

**Affiliation:** West Coast Misfits, faked allegiance to Hellions

**Hair:** Brown with black tips, grows out like a lion's mane **Eyes:** Chocolate Brown

**Powers and Abilities:** Ace Starr's feral mutation grants him great strength, speed, agility, and reflexes. It also gave him obvious indicators of mutantcy: claw-like fingernails, fangs, and a blue birthmark in the shape of an eight-pointed star over his right eye. He can also fire beams of blue energy from his claws.

**Birthplace: **Los Angeles, California

**Bio:** The son of an ex-roadie and ex-groupie, rock stardom was written in the stars for Ace. Unlike many parents, Ace's parents did not mind his feral appearance. From an early age, Ace demonstrated a talent for music, first picking up guitar and singing at the age of 4. From there, he mastered piano, saxophone, and harmonica. At the age of six, he had his first taste of stardom, appearing in a local cereal commercial. At the beginning of his teenage years, Ace gathered four friends of his and formed the Ballroom Blitzers, a band that played original songs and classic rock hits.

Nick Fury would recruit Ace to go undercover at the Massachusetts Academy, where his flirtatious nature and charms were able to make the female members of the Hellions into Wildstar fangirls. After an incident involving the Hellion Red Dragon, an incident involving Wildstar befriending X23, Ace went on the road. While traveling, he encountered future West Coast Misfit teammates Sunfire, Thunderbird, and Dazzler. During an attack by the android Mimic at Christmas, Ace, combining forces with Sunfire, Dazzler, Thunderbird, X23, as well as Wolfsbane, Thunderbolt, Siryn, and Velocity, defeated the Mimic. After that battle, Ace became one of the original West Coast Misfits.

**The Xavier Institute**

"_Dum da de, da deeeee..._" Ororo Munroe, Storm, hummed happily to herself. The Kenya-born weather-manipulator was doing something that brought her a great amount of joy: She was using her powers to water some plants. She smiled as she used her powers to make it rain on a line of plants. "There you go, my children. Don't you all enjoy a good drizzle?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Male screaming was heard.

"What?" Ororo looked up from her watering and looked out the wall of her greenhouse. She noticed Zandar running towards the greenhouse, dressed in red cardinal robes, racing towards the building. Chasing him was a furious Paige, her skin in a steel form, waving a pillow over her head like a mace.

"Oh, no..." The white-haired mutant knew where this was going to go.

"Cardinal Beastenez!" Zandar cried out. "Help me!"

"Come back here!" Paige yelled, swinging the pillow. "Ah ain't done bashin' ya yet!"

"No, no..." Storm shook her head as she ran out of her greenhouse. "No no no no no no no no..."

"Help me!" Zandar screamed.

"No!" Storm yelled as she stepped in front of her greenhouse. "STOP!" She ordered loudly. Zandar and Paige hit the brakes. Amusingly, the blonde epidermic metamorph and the pink-haired Dreadnok were still in the position they were in when Storm ordered them to stop, looking like a video game that was paused. "If you two what is good for you, you will _**not**_ rampage through my greenhouse. If one thing in there gets damaged..." Thunder was heard rumbling. "Do you understand?" Zandar and Paige nodded in understanding. The pink-haired Dreadnok turned to the blonde.

"You don't mind going around, do you?"

"Nah." Paige shrugged.

"Okay." Zandar nodded. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" The Dreadnok took off again, being careful to go around the greenhouse.

"Come back here!" Paige roared as she gave chase once more. She went around the greenhouse as well.

"That's better." Ororo nodded in satisfaction. Smiling, the weather-manipulator walked back inside the greenhouse. She still had plants to water. "I'm glad I was able to prevent my greenhouse from getting destroyed."

_**SPLOOSH!**_

Ororo's greenhouse got covered in paint.

"You are kidding me." Ororo moaned.

"Aw come on!" Remy's voice was heard wailing. "How did this happen?!"

"We really need to get that catapult fixed." Piotr was heard sighing.

"I would ask how things can get any worse, but I don't want to jinx myself." The white-haired woman groaned.

**Space City**

"Who's thet?" Razorback blinked at Professor Miyamoto.

"The man who sent the distress signal." Hardcase whispered to the Arkansas native. "This is Joe business, pal. I suggest you just stay out of the way."

"Hardcase, be nice." Theresa admonished in another whisper. "We're happy for ye're help, Razorback."

"Happy ta help, little lady." Razorback smiled, crossing his arms.

"I am Professor Gunpei Miyamoto." The hoverchair-using scientist introduced himself.

"I'm Quick-Kick of GI Joe." Quick-Kick introduced himself. He then motioned to Kicker. "And this is Kicker."

"Hello." The blonde Joe martial artist waved warmly.

"Jester..."

"Nice space station." Jester grinned. "Any aliens drop by?"

"Shut up, Jester." Hardcase grumbled.

"And that's Hardcase." Quick-Kick continued introducing. "The kids are members of the West Coast Misfits." The martial artist waved to Siryn. "This is Siryn..."

"Hello." The Irish girl smiled warmly.

"Wolfsbane..."

"How's it going?" Rahne waved.

"Velocity..."

"'Sup?" Terrell nodded.

"And of course..." Quick-Kick started to introduce Shiro.

"I do know of Sunfire." Professor Miyamoto nodded. "Who in Japan does not know of him? Esecially because of his alliances with Big Hero 6."

"Big Hero 6?" Rahne blinked.

"Japan's resident superteam." Shiro explained. "America is not the only country in the world that has supervillains and superheroes."

"Oh, like Canada has those Alpha Flight guys." Terrell remembered.

"Exactly." Shiro nodded. The professor noted Razorback.

"I do not recognize your large friend."

"Ah'm Razorback, sir." Razorback nodded respectfully. "Ah'm from Little Rock, Arkansas."

"Razorback here provided the transportation to get here." Kicker explained.

"What is GI Joe's interest in this station?" Professor Miyamoto frowned. "I have done nothing to bother the Americans, nor does my station"

"This isn't about any potential threat to the United States, or anywhere else." Hardcase explained. "We're just here to investigate a distress call."

"Distress call?" Professor Miyamoto raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Jester explained. "This little ball thing came down near our base." Jester held up the small device. "It contained a holographic message from you. It said you needed help."

"Why would I need aid?" The confused Professor frowned. "Only two people reside in this station."

"This huge station only has _two people_ in it?!" Razorback's jaw dropped. "But there's no way that only two people can maintain a station this size! Hell, the International Space Station has ore people runnin' it than this thing. And the ISS is a tiny little thing compared to this station!"

"We have a force of robots to help maintain this station." Professor Miyamoto explained. "And Kimiko and I will not be the only ones on this station after a short time."

"Who's Kimiko?" Siryn blinked.

"Father?" A female voice called out. "Father?"

"You are about to meet her." Professor Miyamoto answered the curious Irish girl. "I am here, daughter." The young woman walked in. She was dressed in a JAXA t-shirt and jeans. The clothes only showed her figure. Terrell's jaw dropped. **(1)**

"Shiro, can I tell you something?" The Compton-born speedster asked the Japan-born solar energy-manipulator.

"Yes, Velocity?"

"I love Japan..." Velocity admitted as he looked over the beautiful young woman, making Shiro groan.

"Father, you didn't tell me you'd have guests." Kimiko looked at the Professor.

"I did not expect to have any." Professor Miyamoto explained. "Especially members of GI Joe."

"I have never thought I'd meet members of the legendary GI Joe team, as well as Sunfire himself. This is such an honor!" Kimiko bowed humbly.

"I am merely here to see if anyone needs aid." Sunfire bowed in response.

"If it's alright with you, we'd like to take a look around the station to see if everything's alright, Professor." Kicker asked. "I know you believe there is nothing to worry about, but maybe there's something going on you're not aware of. If Cobra knew about this station, they may try to come after it."

_If you only knew, Joe..._ Miyamoto thought.

"Please, father." Kimiko begged. "It has been so long since I have seen others."

"Very well, then." Professor Miyamoto nodded. "I shall take you on a tour of Space City."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like the heroes are going on the tour! What insanity will happen next? What'll happen to Storm's greenhouse? What will the tour reveal? Will I stop asking stupid questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) JAXA stands for Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency. It is the Japanese counterpart to NASA. **


	11. Another Discovery!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "Help me, Jesus! Help me, Tom Cruise!" - Will Ferrell as Ricky Bobby, _Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby_**

Chapter 11: Another Discovery!

**Profile Time once more folks! And as for the West Coast Misfit of choice, the light-blasting Dazzler takes the spotlight!**

**Dazzler**

**Real Name:** Alison Blaire

**First Appearance:** "Christmas Chaos"

**Affiliation:** West Coast Misfits

**Hair:** Blonde **Eyes:** Blue

**Powers and Abilities:** Alison's body can absorb sound and convert it into light. She can use that light for various effects. Originally, she used it to create special effects to enhance her performances, but thanks to her training, she was able to use her light powers to create lasers, forcefields, and even holograms. However, for some reason, she cannot use her own voice to fuel her powers.

**Birthplace:** New York, New York, raised in Los Angeles, CA

**Bio:** Not much has been revealed about Alison "Dazzler" Blaire's early life. However, she is known to be the daughter of an attorney in LA. Alison has dreams of becoming a great singer. When her powers first emerged, Ali learned to use them to add special effects to her performances, people believing she was using technology. She would eventually meet Ace Starr, aka Wildstar. After meeting him, she would also befriend the Compton-born mutant Terrell Mason, aka Velocity. The two would be among the mutants gathered by Wildstar to aid the X-Men, Misfits, and the Avengers in the battle against the android Mimic. After that battle, she would go on to become an original member of the West Coast Misfits. While on the team, she would eventually find love with the Mojoworld native known as Longshot. Ali has expressed reluctance about the superhero life and has expressed desires for a normal life on occasion, but she loves her new friends too much to leave.

**The Xavier Institute**

"I told you we should've checked the catapult before we used it!"

_**KRACKOOM!**_

"YEEEEOWWWW!"

"Easy for you to say! You're practically invulnerable!"

_**KRAKOW!**_

"WHOOOOOOO! REMY'S BUNS ON FIRE!"

"This is madness!" Piotr Rasputin, the Russian steel-skinned powerhouse known as Colossus, screamed as he raced down a hall of the Xavier Institute. Running beside him was the Cajun kinetic energy-manipulator Remy LeBeau, aka Gambit.

"Madness? _Madness?!_ This is the Institute!" Gambit remarked.

_**KRACKOOM!**_

"WAAAGH!" The Cajun mutant screamed as another lightning bolt hit him in the backside. "AGH! Remy's buns! Somebody stop this!"

"Miss Munroe, we're sorryyyyyyyy!" Piotr screamed.

_**KRAKOW!**_

"YI!" The Russian screamed. He then felt... "Agh! I'm on fire! My butt is on fire!" Outside, Ororo Munroe, Storm was feeling serene. She was sitting at a table, reading a book, and sipping some tea.

"This is a wondrous novel." She smiled to herself. "I have to remember to thank Cover Girl for the recommendation."

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Piotr and Remy could be seen running thanks to a window behind Ororo.

_**KRACKOOM!**_

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" The boys screamed. Ororo seemed completely oblivious to their screaming and cries for help.

"You are cleaning my greenhouse, boys." The white-haired teacher smiled, sipping her tea. "I wonder how in the world they got a catapult?"

**Space City**

"...and here is the main residential area of Space City." Professor Miyamoto announced as he led the small group of heroes into what appeared to be, well...a city.

"Faith..." Theresa gasped in amazement.

"Oh, my..." Rahne's jaw dropped.

"Daaaaamn..." A very impressed Terrell whistled. "I'd love to take a run through those streets!"

"I wonder if there's a park for me to take a run in meself?" Rahne grinned.

"Wow." Jester whistled.

"Impressive." Hardcase nodded.

"I have to admit, it does look beautiful." Kicker confessed.

"I have to agree." Quick-Kick concurred with a nod.

"I am indeed very proud of my creation." Professor Miyamoto nodded.

"Hmmm..." Razorback frowned.

"What is wrong?" Kimiko asked the Arkansas native.

"This is a rather large residential area." The mutant ex-trucker frowned. "It looks like it could hold a lot of people."

"I was thinking the same thing." Shiro nodded in agreement. "I find it odd that you two would need such a large area for only two people."

"Yeah, it seems like you could hold a lot of people in here." Hardcase added.

"Well, we do plan to have some guests soon." Kimiko explained.

"Guests?" Quick-Kick blinked.

"Are you starting some kind of space hotel?" Terrell wondered out loud.

"Oh, like that rich guy who paid the Russians tae take him intae space?" Rahne remembered. "I do remember that."

"I thought that was hilarious." Jester chuckled.

"Indeed." Professor Miyamoto frowned.

"Um, excuse me, what do you mean by guests?" Kicker enquired.

"Perhaps the children would like to explore?" Professor Miyamoto suggested.

"That sounds like an idea." Hardcase nodded.

"Kimiko, could you show the children around the residential area?"

"Of course, father." The young Japanese woman smiled. "Come along, kids."

"Ah, why not?" Theresa shrugged. The group walked into the residential area.

"It's so...roomy..." Rahne couldn't find a better word.

"Indeed." Shiro nodded. He then noticed a large white pyramid-like structure.

"What is this building?" The young Japanese mutant inquired.

"That is where me and my father reside."

"Wow." Rahne blinked in amazement. "Yuir da must be loaded."

"Well, my father has become quite wealthy thanks to his company." Kimiko smiled. Shiro stared at the building. Something about it bothered the young Solar Samurai...

"Hey uh, ye mind if I take a flight?" Theresa asked, looking up. "Although, I have to warn ye, I tend tae get loud when I fly."

"I don't understand." Kimiko blinked.

"Siryn has the power to manipulate sonics." Shiro explained. "She can fly on sonic vibrations."

"Don't ye worry, I have nae shattered any windows yet." Theresa chuckled.

"What about the time yuir screaming broke every window in the Manor?" Rahne remembered.

"Thunderbird dropped a barbell on me foot." The blonde Irishwoman groaned. "The big knucklehead nearly broke it."

"Not to mention nearly shattering our eardrums." Shiro frowned.

"Aye." Rahne nodded, unknowingly putting a finger in her ear to clean it out. "I thought that I was trapped in a church for a while. Sounded like bells and all that."

"Oh, come on." Terrell sighed. "It wasn't her fault. You guys would be screaming if Thunderbird accidentally dropped a barbell on your foot, too."

"Ah, I see." Kimiko nodded. A crash was heard. "What was that noise?" The group ran towards a building. They saw a robot that looked essentially like a silver football with a pair of arms that ended in nozzles. The robot appeared to have crashed into the wall. "Oh, my..."

"What is that thing?" Theresa wondered.

"Some kinda robot, duh." Terrell rolled his eyes.

"Indeed." Kimiko nodded. "It's a robot for watering plants. We use robots to help maintain the station."

"I suddenly have a great feeling of discomfort." Shiro whispered to Terrell. "Remember when our counterparts went to that theme park?" **(1)**

"Yeah, so?" The Compton-born speedster blinked.

"I got a bad feeling that history may repeat itself." Shiro sighed. None of the young mutants, nor did anyone else, notice a certain English inventor observing them from behind a tree.

_Blast! It's the West Coast Misfits!_ Virus mentally cursed. _I wanted those East Coast Morons here! Ah, well. I'll get to take out some bloody Misfits, anyway..._ He smirked evilly, eyes glowing an electronic green.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like things are picking up! What insanity will happen next? Will Piotr and Remy be able to escape from Storm's wrath? What is Virus up to? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – See my fic "Theme Park Troubles"**


	12. Things Heat Up!

**Siege of Space City**

**Diclaimer: "Don't worry, Kalibak. I'm just getting things set for when the fun really begins." - Desaad, _Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians_**

Chapter 12: Things Heat Up!

**Profile Time yet again, folks! Now we take a look at the Solar Samurai, Sunfire!**

**Sunfire**

**Real Name:** Shiro Yoshida

**First Appearance:** "Christmas Chaos"

**Affiliation:** West Coast Misfits, ally of Big Hero 6

**Hair:** Black **Eyes:** Dark Brown

**Powers and Abilities:** Sunfire has the power to absorb solar radiation, and convert that radiation into plasma that bursts into flame when exposed to oxygen. He can use this power to project heat, flames, and even radiation. He is also able to use this power to fly, often protecting himself by surrounding himself in flames. Due to the nature of his powers, Sunfire can withstand higher temperatures than ordinary humans, and is extremely resistant to radiation. As he gets older, his powers may grow to higher levels.

**Birthplace:** Agarashima, Japan

**Biography:** Not much has been revealed about Shiro's early life, but he may be related to the GI Joe member codenamed Jinx. Before he joined the West Coast Misfits, he and Wildstar met and had an unrecorded adventure. Sunfire would be one of the young mutants Wildstar would gather to help fight the Mimic android. As a West Coast Misfit, Shiro has made himself stand out with his arrogance and temper as hot as his flames. His arguments with teammate Thunderbolt are legendary, which is ironic as the two share common interests in pro wrestling and baseball.

**The Xavier Institute**

"Man, dis is humiliatin'." Remy LeBeau, the Cajun mutant codenamed Gambit, grumbled as he applied a squeegee to the outside wall of Ororo's greenhouse. Ororo Munroe, the Kenyan weather-manipulator codenamed Storm, had made him and Piotr Rasputin, the Russian-born X-Man codenamed Colossus, clean up the greenhous after they accidentally caused paint to cover it due to a faulty catapult. "Remy should'a blasted dat catapult. One touch, and dat cursed t'ing would've been sent to Hell where it belongs."

"I do not understand it." Piotr frowned as he squeegeed some paint off the greenhouse's wall. "We aimed it perfectly." The powerhouse Russian then sighed. "Well, it could be worse."

"Worse?" Remy blinked.

"We could've caused the greenhouse to become a big pile of glass and dirt, tovarisch." Piotr explained. "Who knows what Miss Munroe would have done if that happened."

"Don't scare Remy like dat." Remy shuddered.

"Or we could've hit Rogue's room." Piotr added.

"Now you are _really_ starting to scare Remy, pal." The Cajun mutant shuddered. "And Remy t'ought dem legends regardin' dat Marie LeVeau was scary."

"Marie LeVeau?" Piotr blinked.

"De Witch Queen of New Orleans." Remy explained. "Queen of Voodoo. Dey say she immortal. You no want to mess wit dat woman."

"Ah." Piotr nodded. "Let me tell you about the Baba Yaga sometime."

"Baba Yaga?" Remy blinked.

"In Russian and Slavic folklore, the Baba Yaga is a witch who flies on a mortar, using a pestle as a rudder, and kidnaps children to eat. They say she lives on a house that stands on large chicken's legs."

"Wow." Remy shook his head with a smile. "Dat's one heckuva legend."

"Da." Piotr nodded.

**Space City**

"How many kinds of robots do you have, anyway?" Siryn asked as she picked up the broken robot.

"Many different kinds." Kimiko explained. Terrell picked up the robot and looked it over. "Ill have to summon a repair robot to fix that one up. Each one is pre-programmed with certain instructions."

"It would explain how all these robots are able to work together." Shiro nodded.

"Damn, this thing looks straight outta _Star Trek_, man." The speedster frowned. Rahne blinked.

"Maybe ye need tae reboot it. Ye know, like a computer?" The redheaded Scottish werewolf suggested, poking the robot.

_Keep talking, you inferior excuses for mutants._ Virus smirked evilly. _You may not be Toad, but I'll enjoy torturing you anyway, heh heh._

"Hey, what's that?" Terrell asked, noticing another robot coming towards him. It had an arm with a small nozzle at the end of it.

"That is a construction robot." Kimiko answered. "That one appears to be carrying superglue."

_Splort!_

The robot squirted superglue on Terrell's feet.

"Hey!" Terrell exclaimed. The young speedster's feet were stuck tight, despite his struggling. "Yo, man! What is this? That robot's got its wires crossed!"

"Oh, dear..." Kimiko sighed. "I just hope these malfunctions are isolated."

"This malfunction ain't gonna go away so easy, kiddies!" A particular English-accented voice laughed from within the robot. The West Coast Misfits' eyes widened in shock.

"No!" Rahne yelped.

"Virus!" Siryn snarled.

"What are you doing here, you miscreant?!" Shiro yelled.

"Hey, somebody unstick my feet, man!" Terrell exclaimed.

"Who is that?" Kimiko blinked.

"Virus." Siryn snarled. "As our friend Ace would call him, 'The only man on Earth badder than Mike Tyson in his prime'."

"If he's here, then..." Rahne gasped in shock. "So is Cobra! We have to warn the others!"

"Cobra?!" Kimiko gasped.

"Yo, somebody get my damn feet out of here first!" Velocity yelled, trying to get his feet out of the superglue they were trapped in.

"What am I doing here?" The mad English mutant laughed. "Just taking out the trash." Several more robots came down around the group, all armed with saw blades.

"More construction robots?" Siryn asked as she looked around nervously.

"Yes." The Japanese woman nodded.

"Somehow, I don't think they're in the mood for constructing." Shiro frowned as the robots moved in closer.

"Sunfire, work on freeing Velocity!" Theresa ordered, the Irish girl immediately going into leader mode. "Wolfsbane, ye and I will stop these mad robots!"

"How am I supposed to do that?" Shiro blinked in confusion.

"Melt it." Terrell explained. "Melt it, and I can use my wind powers to blow it off me. I'll back you up."

"Right." The Japanese mutant leaned down and worked on the glue that covered his Compton-born teammate's feet.

"Try not to incinerate my feet, huh?"

"I am perfectly capable of using my powers in a controlled manner." Shiro scowled. "Just try not to move around too much." The Japanese mutant put his hands close to Terrell's feet and started trying to heat up the glue.

"Grrrrrr..." Rahne Sinclair growled as she changed into her werewolf form. "Back off!" She slashed at a robot, knocking it away.

_EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_ Theresa used her sonic scream to scatter several other robots away.

"Shiro, look out!" Terrell warned, noticing Virus charging towards them. The Solar Samurai looked up.

"You wish to-!" The young Japanese mutant got ready to attack the mad English mutant, but Terrell was quicker. The spedster whipped out his arms and his eyes glowed white. The air kicked up around the Compton native's arms, forming small tornadoes around them. He then blasted those tornadoes at Virus, literally blowing the Dreadnok away.

"GAH!" Virus screamed as he tried to fight the tornadoes by activating the jetpack feature in his Battle Pack.

"Told you I got yo' back, man!" Terrell shot a grin at his teammate.

"Indeed." Shiro nodded, then went back to freeing Terrell.

"Kimiko, get back!" Siryn warned, pushing the young woman back slightly with her arm. She let loose with another sonic scream, shattering a couple more robots.

"There's so many of them!" Rahne yelled, pitching one robot into them.

"Why is that boy doing this?" Kimiko wondered.

"Because he's a little psychopath." Theresa grumbled. "And if he's here, then Cobra is here."

"But, that's not possible!" Kimiko exclaimed, shaking her head. "Only me and my father reside in this station. And my father would never work with Cobra!"

"Are ye sure about that?" Siryn frowned.

"Of course I am!" The Japanese woman answered crossly. "Why would my father work with them? He built this station to get away from people like Cobra!"

"Looks like Cobra is not that interested in letting him go." Shiro quipped as he managed to melt the glue around Terrell's feet. "There."

"Did you just make a joke?" The speedster grinned.

"I have my moments." Shiro nodded.

"We had better get the adults." Rahne realized.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like the action is just heating up! What insanity will happen next? Will the Joes learn what's going on? Will Gambit and Colossus be able to clean up the greenhouse without incident? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_


	13. Exposed!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "We want our licenses back!" - Marvin Marsh, _South Park_**

Chapter 13: Exposed!

**A field, location unknown**

The field was covered in an ocean of emerald green grass. It was normally a tranquil field. However, today...that tranquility would be interrupted.

"WAAAAAAAAUGH!" The Dreadnok known as Zandar, clad in the red robes of a Cardinal, screamed as he ran through the field. Chasing him was a most unusual sight, a teenage girl with blonde hair and steel skin, chasing after Zandar, waving a pillow over her head. Paige Guthrie, aka Husk, was trying to give the drunken Dreadnok the walloping she felt he needed.

"Come back here and take your medicine, ya pink-haired punk!" Paige yelled. "I can chase ya all day long! Come on!"

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Zandar screamed. "Where did everybody go?"

**The Xavier Institute**

Remy and Piotr entered the Institute, carrying buckets with their squeegees inside.

"Remy telling you, Marie Leveau could beat up de Baba Yaga." The Cajun mutant argued.

"Nyet. I do not think so." The Russian powerhouse shook his head. "The Baba Yaga could beat Marie Leveau senseless with her mortar and pestle."

"By de way, what _is_ a mortar and pestle, anyway?"

"A mortar and pestle is a tool use for cooking." Piotr explained. "It's used for crushing, grinding, and mixing. The mortar is a bowl used to hold food, and the pestle is a heavy stick for crushing."

"Hey, guys, uh..." Sam Guthrie asked as he walked up to them. "You seen Paige?"

"Paige? Nyet." Piotr shook his head. "Remy and I were cleaning Ororo's greenhouse."

"Wasn't she chasing one of de Three Drunk Men?" Remy remembered.

"Yeah, they went into the Spanish Inquisition mode." Sam nodded, scratching the back of his head.

"Tequila." Remy and Piotr nodded in unison.

"Yeah, Paige was chasing Zandar, and...they disappeared." Sam explained. "I'm really worried about her."

"Don' worry about de little Hayseed, Farmboy." Remy reassured with a chuckle. "She can take care of herself."

"Da." Piotr nodded in agreement. "It's Zandar that I am worried about, heh heh."

"WAHHHHHH!!!!" The drunk Beast and Warren ran by behind them, still dressed in their cardinal robes.

"What the-?" Sam, Remy, and Piotr turned their heads. A siren wailed as a police car was seen following them.

"The Professor is going to love to hear about this." Piotr sighed. The sound of a lot of shattering glass was heard.

"We broke the greenhouse, Cardinal Beastenez!" Warren was heard wailing. The three boys heard a loud scream...and saw the sky darken and thunder rumble in the sky.

"Uh oh..." Sam mumbled.

"We're gonna need new teachers." Remy winced.

**A beach**

"_La la la la laaaaaa..._" Vanna Creed happily sang to herself as she walked with her arms out on a rocky cliff that was over a sandy beach. "_Ohhhh, I love to be beside the seasiiiiide! I do like to be beside the sea..._" **(1)**

"Hey, kid!" A voice called out.

"Huh?" Vanna blinked. The blonde turned her head to see a policeman walk towards her.

"Kid, you shouldn't be on that cliff! You could fall off!"

"Ah, I'm fine!" Vanna grinned. She then continued her walk. "_Give me what is miiiiine, the Seven Seas of Rhye!_"

"Kid, you should come over here so those guys over there can fix the railing." The policeman held his arms out.

"Awww, do you want a hug?" Vanna grinned. "Okay! I'll hug ya!" She started to move toward the cop to hug him when her foot slipped on the rocks. "Uh oh."

"No!" The cop yelled in horror.

"WAHHHHHH!" Vanna screamed as she fell over the cliff.

"KID!" The cop tried to make a grab for Vanna, but he couldn't reach the blonde in time. "NO!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" The blonde Sabertooth clone fell towards the beach. The fall looked like it would splatter the clone all over the beach. Down Vanna fell towards what would be certain death. However, the blonde twisted her body instinctively so she'd land on her feet.

_FOOF!_

She landed like a missile, the speed of her fall causing her to be driven into the ground up to her chest.

"Huh." The blonde clone girl blinked as she looked down at herself. "Hee hee, I'm a tent peg."

**Space City**

The adult Malibu Joes and Razorback had joined Professor Miyamoto in touring another part of Space City's major metropolis.

"It's so massive..." Kicker whistled as she looked around.

"Yeah,this place makes Malibu look like nothing." Jester nodded.

"I doubt it." Hardcase scowled.

"This place is awfully big..." Razorback nodded. "And Ah highly doubt you and your daughter need all this for living space."

"The living space is not just for me and Kimiko." The professor explained. "I plan to invite the world's greatest scientific minds to come reside on this station."

"Creating the ultimate think tank, huh?" Hardcase noticed.

"That or the ultimate comic book and pop culture convention." Jester chuckled.

"Can't you be serious for five damn minutes?" Hardcase scowled at the dark-haired pilot.

"I like to think that I lighten the mood a bit." Jester countered.

"Well, you don't."

"Can't you two stop for five seconds?" Kicker groaned.

"Not until he learns to lighten up." Jester answered.

"I'll stop when he learns that the Joes are a serious outfit." Hardcase added.

"Are they always like this?" Razorback asked Quick-Kick. The Asian Joe nodded.

"Oh yeah. You should see them when high-ranking generals visit the base. I never saw General Austin laugh so hard in my life."

"And I never was so embarrassed in my life." Hardcase groaned.

"Oh, come on! You acted like I _intended_ to hit you with those pies." Jester groaned.

"Are you two quite finished?" The Professor frowned.

"Yeah, they are." Kicker glared at the two arguing Malibu Joes. "Aren't you, boys?"

"Yes, ma'am." Jester and Hardcase nodded in unison.

"Wow. That gal really good at keepin' people in line, huh?" Razorback chuckled.

"Yeah, that's why I love her." Quick-Kick grinned. "She'll make one helluva mom." Professor Miyamoto had continued on, ignoring the Malibu Joe and Arkansas mutant's little exchange.

"I created Space City to be a refuge for the world's greatest minds from the chaos and the insanity of he world."

"Well, that's...interesting." Jester blinked.

"A better idea would be to put the Misfit teams up here. The world would thank us for it." Hardcase quipped.

"Knock it off!" Kicker snapped, whacking Jester and Hardcase upside the head. The Professor ignored this.

"I only ask one condition of my future fellow residents..." Professor Miyamoto continued. "That they consider my word as law." The adult Joes blinked in disbelief at that statement.

"You have got to be kidding me." Hardcase blinked.

"Damn, dude..." Jester shook his head.

"Ah knew there was something funny going on 'round here..." Razorback shook his head and crossed his arms.

"You'll have to excuse our discomfort with our last statement." Kicker explained. "Considering the kind of people the Joes were formed to combat, you can understand."

"...Indeed." Professor Miyamoto nodded. "And I can assure you Joes that I am nothing like those madmen in Cobra-" A beeping was heard, interrupting the Professor. It was the Joes' Joe-Coms.

"Go ahead, Siryn." Hardcase spoke into his Joe-Com.

"Hardcase! I'm glad we got ye!" Siryn's voice was heard screaming from the Joe-Com. "We need some help here! The robots! They've gone mad!"

"Taste my wrath, metal dogs!" Shiro's voice was heard roaring in the background, followed by the noise of flame jets and explosions.

"The maintenance robots must be malfunctioning." The Professor thought out loud.

"Professor, this might be Cobra sabotage." Hardcase warned.

"I quite agree, Mr. Hardcase." Professor Miyamoto smirked, pressing a button on his wheelchair. A group of the same maintenance robots that attacked the West Coast Misfits approached the Joes. "Perhaps you Joes can be helpful and find the saboteur?"

"Uh oh..." Jester blinked.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like business is about to pick up! What insanity will happen next? Where are Paige and Zandar? Will Storm murder the other Drunk Men? Is Professor Miyamoto really working for Cobra? Will Vanna get out of the sand?Can our heroes save Space City? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – A nod to the end of the Queen song "Seven Seas of Rhye".**


	14. Ambush!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "Go home, Dale!" - Hank Hill, _King of the Hill_**

Chapter 14: Ambush!

**Paris, France**

Paris. The City of Lights. A city known for being a center of fashion and art. And in an outdoor cafe, a blonde Frenchwoman was sitting at a table, reading a magazine. A waiter approached the woman, holding a cup of steaming hot coffee.

"Cafe?" He asked. The woman looked up from her magazine and nodded.

"Oui. Merci." She accepted the coffee and took a sip.

"WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Loud screaming was heard.

"Hmmm?" The blonde looked up and saw Zandar run by, clad in his red Cardinal robes.

"Help me! Somebody help me!" Zandar screamed, crashing into tables and chairs and knocking them aside as they ran by. Paige Guthrie was chasing after him, still with steel skin, and still whirling her pillow over her head.

"Come back here, ya yahoo!" Paige yelled,, her hair being blown everywhere by her whirling pillow. "I'm gonna whup ya! Whup ya good! Come back here, I can chase you all day long!" She continued chasing Zandar until she noticed something in the skyline. "Hey...is that the Eiffel Tower? Cool! I always wanted to go to Paris!" The waiter walked up to the blonde.

"May I take your order, madame?"

"Sure." Paige grinned. "Hey, Drunk Boy! Let's take a break!"

**Bayville**

"_Hmmm hm hmmmm..._" Duncan Matthews hummed happily to himself, hands in his jean pockets. The blond jock walked up to a crosswalk. Noticing no cars on the road, he started to cross the road. He then heard screaming. "Huh?"

"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-DOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!"

_**BAM!**_

Two of the Three Drunk Men, Hank McCoy and Warren Worthington III, still in their Braveheart regalia, ran down the road. They had accidentally knocked Duncan down and trampled on him.

"Ohhhhhhhhh..." The blond jock moaned and twitched. "Uhhhhh...muh head..." Then sirens were heard. "Wha-?"

_WHEE-OOH! WHEE-OOH! WHEE-OOH! WHEE-OOH!_

_**CRUNCH!**_

Duncan screamed as a police car ran over him.

"Oh, gawwwwdddd..." Duncan moaned in pain, trying slowly to crawl away. "My spine...my beautiful beautiful spine..." Screaming was heard. "Oh, no..."

_**KRAK-OOM! KABOOM! KA-BLAM!**_

"I AM GOING TO INCINERATE YOU TWO!" Ororo Munroe screamed as she flew by, throwing lightning bolts.

_**KRACK-OOM!**_

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Duncan screamed as one lightning bolt hit him in the backside. "MY CHEEK! Oh dear sweet God, my cheek! My poor cheek! My beautiful beautiful cheek! Oh God whyyyy?" More sirens were heard.

_WHEE-OOH! WHEE-OOH! WHEE-OOH! WHEE-OOH!_ Duncan's eyes widened as he heard the sirens.

"Oh dear God, no..." The blond jock whimpered as he saw the police cars bear down on him. "Oh God!" He tried to crawl away. "Wait! No!"

_Crunch! Crack! Crunch! Crack! Crick!_

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Duncan screamed as the police cars ran over him over as they raced down the road.

**Space City**

"Perhaps you Joes can be helpful and find the saboteur?"

"Uh oh..."

"You can say that again, Jester." Hardcase winced.

"Uh oh..." The dark-haired grey flight suit-wearing pilot repeated. The blond-haired green beret-wearing Range glared at the Air Force recruit. "What? You _so _set yourself up for that one!"

"Professor, what is going on here?" Kicker demanded.

"Ah do believe an explanation is in order." Razorback added.

"And you are right, Razorback." Professor Miyamoto smirked. "I suppose an explanation is in order. You see, Cobra has taken over this station." The professor's smirk widened. "And the real Miyamoto is safely in our care..." He pulled off his face.

"Zartan!" The Joes gasped in shock.

"Doesthis mean that I don't get to take any pictures for Dial-Up?"Jester asked jokingly, making Hardcase groan.

"Dammit! Shut up, Jester!" Hardcase snapped.

"What?! I'm just trying to lighten the mood here."

"Now's not the time, Jester." Quick-Kick sighed, getting into a martial stance. Kicker unsheathed her sword.

"I always wanted to slash some robots." The blonde ninja smirked. Hardcase whipped out a pair of Smith and Wessons, and Jester took out a baseball bat.

"A baseball bat?" Hardcase groaned.

"Don't judge me, man."

"WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" The flying Virus landed in a heap between the facing off Zartan and the Joes. "Ohhhh..." The insane English mutant moaned as he got up, holding his head.

"Virus, what're you doing?!" Zartan snapped. "We got Joes here to fight!"

"Those bloody West Coast blighters!" Virus grumbled. "They're as bad as that damned bloody woman-stealing slime-drinking Toad."

"What're you up to, Zartan?" Hardcase demanded.

"Isn't that obvious?" Virus chuckled. "This space station would be a big help in Cobra's operations."

"So we decided to convince the Professor to hand over the station." Zartan added with a smirk.

"Where is the real Professor Miyamoto, Zartan?!" Kicker snapped, pointing her sword at Zartan.

"He is safely under my care." A deep answered through Space City's PA system.

"Destro..." Quick-Kick growled. They then heard explosions.

"What?" Zartan blinked.

_**EEEEEEEEEE!!!**_

Theresa's sonic screams blasted a robot right past the group of adults. Zartan and Virus turned away briefly.

"Now! While he's distracted!" Hardcase yelled.

"YO JOE!" The four Joes and Razorback charged them, firing their weapons. The robots surrounding the two villains started firing lasers.

"Yow!" Jester yelped as the dark-haired pilot ducked. "These robots are packin' heat!"

"Thanks to me modifications!" Virus laughed as he soared into the air thanks to his Battle Pack. "I was fixing up this station to be battle platform until you Joes showed up!" At the mental command of an angry Virus, a pair of missile launchers erupted from the Battle Pack. "I am bloody sick and tired of you Joes interfering in my work!" With a _fwoosh,_ the missiles burst from their launchers towards the Joes.

"Watch out!" Hardcase yelled.

"KI-YI!" Kicker screamed as she leapt up and sliced one of the missiles in half with her katana. The Joes scattered and hit the deck.

"Hey, Zartan, right?" Razorback yelled, charging up to one of the robots, dodging its weapons in the process. "Allw me ta introduce myself! The name's Razorback, and Ah don't take too kindly tuh bein' blasted at! YA-HOO!" He grabbed one robot, and using his formidable strength, itched it into another robot, causing them both to get smashed. "Alright!" He charged another robot, and headbutted it. Razorback's boar mask was reinforced and designed to allow him to smash through walls without injury to his head or neck. "Come on, robots! Ah ain't scared of ya!" He charged another robot, the mane on his mask crackling with electricity. The robot he was charging was about to ambush Kicker.

"What the-?!" The blonde ninja-trained Joe blinked as she turned and saw the robot bear down on her.

_**KRACK-LLL!!**_

The robot took a blast of electricity from Razorback's mane, causing it to shatter into pieces.

"Thanks, Razorback!" The blonde grinned. Razorback only smiled, nodded, and did a 'tip of the hat' gesture.

"No problem, ma'am." The Arkansas native grinned. "Ah have ta admit, Ah may not have known ya Joes fer very long, but Ah do enjoy yer company." Kicker chuckled at that.

"Get back! Get back!" Jester yelled, swinging his bat at the robots. "Get back, metal demons! The power of Christ compels you!"

"How the hell did _he_ get into GI Joe?" Hardcase groaned as he fired his weapon at the robots.

"Yah! Yah! Yah!" Quick-Kick swung his sword at the robots, slicing them.

"Don't you Joes ever die?!" Virus roared, firing more missiles at the Joes.

"As Sean Connery said in _The Untouchables,_ 'Never stop fighting until the fight is done'!" Quick-Kick pitched several shuriken at Virus.

"Yi!" The young mutant barely dodged them. "You crazy plonkers!"

"Virus, you knucklehead! Use the gas!" Zartan groaned. The Dreadnok had fled the scene, hoping to reach Destro in the command center.

"Oh, right!" The mad young Dreadnok grinned. A nozzle sprouted from bis Battle Pack. "Nighty night, flatscans..." The English mutant pointed the nozzle at the Joes and rained a green gas down on the group.

"Gas!" Hardcase coughed.

"Oh man..." Jester waved and hacked.

"Whut in tarnation-?!" Razorback wheezed.

"Uh..." Quick-Kick mumbled as he started to get dizzy. "Oh man...as Danny Glover said in _Lethal Weapon..._'I'm too old for this...'" The heroic soldiers and superhuman trucker all hit the ground, falling asleep. Zartan and Virus smirked.

"We got 'em, Zartan!" Virus whooped. Zartan smirked.

"Destro will be pleased."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like things are heating up! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the day? Where will Zartan and Paige go next? What is up with that weird chase? Can the Joes and the West Coast Misfits get out of whatever Cobra's plotting? Will I stop asking stupid questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_


	15. Trapped!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "If you see him in heaven, tell him he sucks." - Homer Simpson to Sideshow Mel on William Shakespeare, _The Simpsons_**

Chapter 16: Trapped!

**London, England**

London, England. A city known as a center of culture, rock music, and immortalized in pop cultures thanks to its landmarks like Big Ben, the London Bridge, the Tower of London, and the streets dotted with its trademark red double-decker buses, which were sadly going the way of the dodo bird, due to an increasing obsession with safety.

In front of a television store, there stood a group of teenagers dressed like punk rockers.

"Oi! This show sucks!" One young punker with a rainbow mohawk yelled. "I wanna watch Doctor Who!" The other punkers looked at him oddly.

"_Doctor Who?!_"

"Wot? WOT?!" Rainbow Mohawk snapped. "I like that show! It's fun!"

"You like that nerdy show?" A punker girl with blonde hair laughed.

"What?!" Rainbow Mohawk blinked. "I wouldn't laugh if I were you, Patti! You still collect Beanie Babies!" The blonde's face, Patti, reddened.

"I told you that in the strictest confidence, Fred!" Patti snapped at the rainbow-mohawked kid as the other punkers started laughing. "You said you'd keep quiet about that, you you you you-!" She started punching Fred's arm. **(1)**

"OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!" Fred yelped. He glared at the laughing punkers. "Stop bloody laughing and help me, you plonkers!"

"Oh man, this is too funny!" One punker laughed.

"Yeah." Another one chortled, wiping a tear from his eye. "Too bloody right."

"YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" A voice screamed. The punkers blinked.

"What was that?!" The punkers mumbled amongst themselves.

"Maybe Prince Charles stubbed his toe again." Patti chuckled.

"I dunno." Fred frowned. "It don't sound like ol' Chuck."

"Hey..." Patti pointed in the distance. "What's that?" The punkers turned their heads and saw...

Zandar running down the street, clad in his red cardinal costume.

"WAUUUUUGH!" The Dreadnok screamed.

"What the bloody hell?" Fred blinked.

"LOOK OUT!" Zandar screamed, knocking the punkers aside.

"Hey!" One yelled.

"Oof!" Another fell on his butt. "Oi! You nearly broke me glasses!"

"WAH!" Patti fell on her butt, taking Fred with her. "Who the bloody-!"

"Come back here and take yer whoopin' like a man!" Paige Guthrie, Husk, yelled as she chased after Zandar. Her skin was still steel, and she was still twirling her pillow over her head. The punkers watched her run by. "You're only delaying the inevitable, boy!"

"What the bloody hell was that?" Patti blinked.

"Who cares?" One punker yelled. "That looney Michael Palin wannabe nearly ran over us! Let's get him!"

"Yeah!" The other punkers got up and joined the chase.

**The Xavier Institute**

Scott Summers walked into the kitchen when he smelled something.

"Hmmm..." The optic blaster smiled. "Hey, something smells good." He then noticed the scent was coming from the oven. "Looks like somebody's been baking muffins or something." A smile crossed the face of the X-Men's field leader. "I hope they won't mind if I take a peek..." He opened the oven slightly. "Hey what?"

_BLLLEURGH!_

A monstrous hand reached up from the oven and grabbed Scott by the face.

"AAHHHHHHH!" He screamed. Scott struggled to get the hand off his face by tugging the fingers and thrashing around. "HELP ME! HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" The hand pulled Scott inside the oven, and the door closed with a slam.

"Now, did I use, like, the right amount of cabbage?" Kitty blinked as she walked in, reading a cookbook. "I hope they didn't mind me substituting salt for flour..." She looked up. "I thought I heard Scott screaming."

**Houston City Hall, Houston, Texas**

"_Hmmm hm hm hm hmmmm..._" Vanna Creed mumbled to herself. The blonde clone of Sabertooth was sitting on her car, looking up at the building. "Wow." The clone girl blinked. "I saw this on TV, but I didn't know that it was so big...Huh?" She noticed a man walk by, operating a pushcart that sold cowboy hats. "Hey, I want a hat!" The blonde feral walked towards the stand. "Hi!" The hat seller looked over at her.

"Hey, kid."

"Nice hats." Vanna complimented.

"Thanks, kid." The man nodded. The girl looked at the various hats of different sizes and colors.

"You sure do have a lot of hats." The blonde feral noted.

"I like to have a little something for everyone." The hat seller nodded.

"I see." The blonde nodded. "Ooh..." She found a mustard yellow-colored cowboy hat. The feral girl tried it on and looked at herself in the mirror. "Hey, I like this one!"

"So do I." The hat seller nodded with a smile. "It really looks good on you."

"I like this hat!" Vanna grinned widely. She looked at the hat seller. "I want this hat! How much does it cost?!"

"Uh, let's see..." The hat seller looked on his price list.

"Never mind, I'll just take it, thank you!" Vanna grabbed the hat seller, gave him a big kiss, and ran off.

"HEY!" The hat seller yelled, taking chase after her. "Come back here, kid! Right now!"

"WHEEEEEEE!!!" Vanna whooped as she ran down the street, not knowing that she was about to knock into someone.

_Bump!_

"Oof!" Vanna fell on her butt. "Hey! Watch where you're going!"

"Sorry, kid." The girl she ran into apologized, her voice having a Texan accent. "I was caught up in my criminology book. Didn't see you." The girl was in her late teens, with long brown hair. She was wearing a black blazer with a blue jacket and skirt. She also had on white shoes. Her head was topped by a blue cowboy hat. "You alright, kid?" The brunette helped the blonde up.

"I'm okay." Vanna nodded, dusting herself off. "Nice to meet you. The name's Vanna Creed."

"Amanda Leibowicz." The brunette introduced herself. "Nice to meet you. What brings ya here to Houston?" Vanna shrugged. **(2)**

"I like to travel." The blonde explained. "I'm looking for someone."

"Maybe I can help." The brunette cowgirl offered. "I'm pretty good with a mystery."

"Hey!" The hat seller yelled as he ran up to the two girls. "That blonde stole my hat!"

"Huh?" Amanda blinked at Vanna. The blonde grinned.

"Sorry, new friend! Gotta go! Crazy people chasing me! Bye!" Vanna raced off, leaving a completely puzzled Amanda, and a furious hat seller chasing after her.

**Space City**

"Ooohhhhhhh..." Quick-Kick moaned as his eyes opened. "My aching head..."

"Where are we?" Hardcase grunted as he woke up from the gas attack.

"Hardcase..." A familiar Irish brogue inquired. The blonde crew cut-wearing Joe blinked.

"Siryn?"

"Aye, it's me." The Irish screamer announced. "Ye guys okay?"

"Yeah..." Jester moaned. "Where are we?"

"Hello?" The young woman named Kimiko Miyamoto blinked.

"What's this thing on my neck?" Terrell blinked drearily.

"Ah, you clowns are all awake." An English-accented voice cackled. The heroes woke up quickly.

"Hey!" Jester yelped. "We're chained up."

"Indeed, you are." Virus laughed as he floated up to them with his Battle Pack. The Joes and the West Coast Misfits were chained up from their ankles to their shoulders, and they were on a conveyor belt, being led towards a large construct with cylindrical-shaped grinders in front of it.

"Nnn...rrr..." Razorback growled as he struggled with his chains. "Whut're these things made of? I can't break these things!"

"Specially reinforced chains, mate." Virus chuckled. "I figured that you lot would try a trick to get out."

"Yo, man! What's this thing on my neck, man?!" Terrell demanded.

"A power-suppressor." The English mutant smirked. "Don't want you to get away easy with your powers, now do we?"

"Where are we?" Theresa whispered to Kimiko.

"W-w-we must be in one of Space City's recycling centers." Kimiko explained. "This is where they recycle robots that cannot be repaired."

"And what's going to be used to recycle you, duckies." Virus cackled. "I wonder what they'll rebuild you all into? Won't be anything useful, that's for sure."

"Ha!" Jester burst out laughing. "You are really out of your mind if you think that this'll take us out for good."

"Oh, it will. My superior mind saw to that." Virus pulled out a remote control from his jacket. He pointed the remote at the conveyor belt and pushed a button. With a whirring noise, the conveyor started up, and the grinders started spinning.

"Oh, no!" Kicker gasped.

"We gotta get outta here!" Hardcase yelled in panic.

"So long, ya clowns!" Virus cackled. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!" The English mutant cackled madly as he flew off.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are in a real jam! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the day? Where will Zandar and Paige end up next? Can our heroes free Space City? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – Patti and Fred are nods to Patti Smith and her late husband, Fred "Sonic" Smith, pioneers in the world of punk rock.**

**(2) – Amanda Leibowicz is a character from my fic "The Uncanny Kid Razor". **


	16. Escape!

**Siege of Space City**

**Hello to all my loyal readers! Sorry I took so long to update this fic, writer's block sucks. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!**

**Disclaimer: "These feet stink BLEARRRGH!!!" - William Murderface, _Metalocalypse_**

Chapter 16: Escape!

**Avengers Mansion**

_Ka-thunk!_

Clint "Hawkeye" Barton, clad in his purple costume with the mask off, leaped over a laser blast, nocking another arrow in his bow in the process. Like a cat, he landed on his feet, and the young blond hero let the arrow fly.

_Ka-thunk!_

The arrow hit the center of a target on a large robot. The robot was part of the Playroom, the training area of the Avengers. When the arrow hit, the robot stopped moving.

_Simulation Complete._ A computerized voice announced. _Time, 14 minutes, 17 seconds. Robots defeated: 17._

"Hell yeah!" Clint whooped in triumph, pumping his fist. "New record! All hail Hawkeye!"

"Nice work, Clint." A voice complimented . Clint looked up and saw Spencer Burton, Sonic Blue, in the control room. The Cincinnati native smiled and gave a thumbs-up. He was clad in his armor, except for his helmet. Clint smirked.

"Thanks, Spence." Clint leaned on his bow slightly. "I'd like to see you beat that record, pal."

"I could easily."

"_Without_ the armor." Clint added.

"Oh." Spencer blinked. The young inventor ran a hand through his hair and slightly adjusted his ponytail. "I...don't think I could." Clint chuckled.

"Whatever you say, man." He archer ran a hand through his blond hair. "Did I look good out there, or did I look good?"

"Yeah, whatever." Spencer chuckled. "Do the girls like your posturing?"

"They don't complain." Clint flipped his bow in the air,did a backflip, and then caught it. "I'm a showman at heart. And speaking of a show, did you hear about a new team popping up?"

"Who?"

"Those new Avengers." Clint answered. "The West Coast Avengers."

"Oh those guys in California." The young genius remembered. **(1)**

"Yeah." Clint nodded. "What do you think of 'em?" Spencer shrugged.

"I don't really know them that well, to be honest with you." The blue-armored hero shrugged. The door to the Playroom hissed as it opened. Two young heroes emerged. One was a muscular boy with longish light blond hair with red eyes concealed by black shades, dressed in a red trenchcoat, white jeans, and a white t-shirt with an emblem of a red dragon on it. The person who accompanied him was a tall curvaceous girl covered in fine white fur, with a mane of white hair and cat's ears poking out of the mane. She was dressed in a slick red halter top and matching long tights, with a long furry white tail allowed to move freely. The girl had her arms wrapped around the arm of the blond boy. As they walked in, Sonic Blue grabbed his helmet and used a lift in the control room to come down to the floor.

"Wow." The blond boy whistled. "This Playroom is just like our own back home."

"Yeah." The girl agreed with a nod.

"Ah, here's two of 'em, now." Clint waved at the couple. "Sonic Blue, this is Persiana and Crisis."

"Call me Farrah." The cat-like girl smiled as she shook Spencer's hand. "And this sexy hunk of man is Crisis."

"Eh, it's just Leon." Crisis chuckled. "Nice to meet you, Sonic Blue."

"The name's Spencer." The blue-armored genius chuckled as he shook the blond kid's hand. _Geez, he's got a grip on him. But then again, I should not be surprised. He literally knocked the Hellions' resident powerhouse, Beef, clear across San Diego!_ "What brings you guys here to the Empire State?"

"The West Coast Avengers thought it'd be neat to introduce themselves to the original gang." Farrah explained. "You guys have got some nice digs."

"Indeed." Leon nodded in agreement. A crash was heard. "What the-?"

"PERSIANA!" A female voice roared. "DID YOU PUT ITCHING POWDER IN MY COSTUME?!"

"Uh..." Clint blinked.

"Farrah..." Leon sighed. "Did you...?" The feline girl smirked evilly.

"Hey, I had to get her back for the time she put that pink hair dye in my shampoo."

**The Taj Mahal, Agra, India**

The Taj Mahal. A famous mausoleum commissioned by a shah in honor of one of his favorite wives, it is considered one of the most beautiful buildings in the world, and the highlight of any visit to India. The white marble used to construct it shined in the light of the sun . And two tourists were appreciating the beauty of the Taj in their own way.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" The drunk Cardinal Zandar screamed as he raced along the front of the building. Chasing behind him as always, was the metal-skinned Paige Guthrie, twirling her pillow over her head.

"Come back here, ya yahoo!" Paige yelled as she pursued the drunken Dreadnok. "Ah'll chase ya all the way ta _Neptune_ if Ah have to!" Behind them were English punkers.

"Come back here, ya plonkers!" Patti yelled.

"Don't you want to see the nice building?" Zandar screamed.

"Ah'll introduce yer _head_ to the building when Ah catch you!" Paige roared. Meanwhile, two security guards were standing in front of an entrance to the legendary mausoleum.

"How is the wife doing?" Guard number 1 asked.

"Ah, she's doing okay." Guard number 2 answered with a shrug. "She's getting on my back again about the mortgage."

"Tell me about it." Guard number 1 agreed. "This economy, man. It's making everyone miserable. One country's economy goes to hell, and it takes the rest of the world with it."

"Tell me about it." Guard 2 sighed. He heard screaming. "Huh?" He turned and saw a screaming Zandar un into the building, Paige hot on his heels, and the English punkers gaining on them. "Hey! Visiting hours are over!" The two guards ran after them.

"Aw man, I thought this stuff happened only in America!"

**Space City**

"Anybody got any ideas for getting us out of here?" Razorback asked as the powerhouse mutant trucker hero struggled with his chains.

"We could use our powers, but...you know..." Terrell shrugged.

"Hang on, I think I got something!" Jester announced as he twisted himself in his chains.

"Oh, great." Hardcase groaned. "Jester has an idea. We're doomed."

"I didn't hear _ye_ come up with any!" Rahne snapped.

"I'm willing to go with Jester's plans if it means we get out of here!" Theresa yelped in fear. The pilot grunted and struggled.

"There we go!" Jester grinned. Sticking out of the sleeve of his flight suit was...the head of a rubber chicken.

"Whut the?" Razorback blinked.

"He's lost it." Quick-Kick groaned. "He's finally lost it."

"Great." Hardcase groaned. "Just great. Fantastic. We're going to die, and he's gonna play with a stupid rubber chicken."

"How's a rubber chicken gonna help us out, man?!" Terrell exclaimed.

"I...do not understand his plan." Kimiko blinked.

"Plan? You think Jester actually plans?" Hardcase snapped. "The idiot just does things!"

"Hardcase, shut up!" Kicker snapped. "Jester, you'd better damn well have a plan!"

"Oh all of ye of little faith." The dark-haired prankster pilot grinned. "I have a very cunning plan." Out of the chicken's beak popped the head of an acetylene torch, which ignited. "Behold, my chicken torch!"

"You gotta be kidding." Hardcase groaned.

"How'd you get a rubber chicken with a built-in acetylene torch?!" Rahne blinked.

"Who cares?! Just use it! The grinders are coming up!" Theresa screamed.

"Jester, hurry!" Kicker yelled.

"You got it!" The pilot nodded. "Let me be the key to our freedom!" He boomed in a heroic voice as he maneuvered the flame of his torch to start cutting the chains.

"Jester!" Quick-Kick yelled. The tied-up gang were coming awfully close to the grinders.

"I don't wanna fry myself, okay?!"

"We're gonna get grinded into axle grease, man!" Terrell screamed. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Razorback!" Jester yelled. "Keep straining! If I can weaken the chains enough, you can bust 'em!"

"Ah'm already ahead of yuh on thet." Razorback grunted as he continued to strain.

"Come on, come on..." Jester grumbled and cursed under his breath. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he tried to ignore the screams of his teammates and the West Coast Misfits. He constantly kept moving his head, his view constantly switching between the encroaching grinders and the chains getting cut by his rubber chicken's acetylene torch.

"They're getting slack!" Razorback yelled. "Ah can break 'em!" With a big powerful yell, the Arkansas native broke the chains by thrusting out his powerful arms.

"Alright!" Jester whooped, quickly shutting off his torch.

"Come on!" Quick-Kick yelled. "Everyone off the belt!"

has no stratec

"Allow me, ma'am!" Razorback grabbed Kimiko. The young Japanese woman let out a slight squeak as the powerful Arkansas mutant held her gently and leaped off the conveyor belt. The West Coast Misfits and Malibu Joes quickly followed Razorback off.

"That was too close." Hardcase panted.

"Aye." Rahne nodded in agreement.

"We gotta get these collars off." Siryn tugged on her collar. "We cannae use our powers without them."

"Hang on." Kicker patted her uniform. "I hope Virus didn't take my lockpicks..."

"I got one." Quick-Kick remembered. He pulled one out from a hidden compartment in his sash. The Asian Joe walked over to Theresa and started working on her collar.

"We need a plan." Hardcase announced. "We gotta shut this station down. Cobra didn't go to all this trouble to get their fangs on this place for humanitarian reasons."

"We have to find my father!" Kimiko reminded the blond buzz-cut-wearing Joe. "Who knows what those monsters are doing to him?"

"Why would Cobra be after this station?" Theresa asked.

"I don't know." Kimiko shook her head. "This station has no strategic value to anyone."

"Maybe it does." Hardcase realized. "Remember what that little psychopath Virus grumbled when Zartan had those robots attack us? He said that Cobra wanted to turn the station into a battle platform." Kimiko gasped.

"No! My father never wanted this to happen to Space City!"

"It makes sense. From this station, Cobra could launch strikes to practically anywhere in the world." Kicker nodded.

"We gotta shut this place down." Theresa realized.

"But what about my father?" Kimiko pleaded.

"If we know anything about Destro, it's that in his own way, he has some honor. He won't likely harm the Professor. It's Zartan and Virus we should be more concerned with." Quick-Kick explained.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are in another jam! What insanity will happen next? Where will Paige and Zandar end up next? Can our heroes save the day? How will the meeting between East and West Coast Avengers go? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! **_

**(1) – Read Persiana13's "Emerging Crisis".**


	17. Wall Wackiness and Freedom!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "YOU SUCK!" - Stewie Griffin, _Family Guy_**

Chapter 17: Wall Wackiness and Freedom!

**The Xavier Institute's grounds**

Piotr Rasputin, the metal-skinned Russian powerhouse codenamed Colossus, was sitting outside, enjoying his passion: painting. He was humming to himself happily as he painted.

"Hey, Peter." Jean Grey greeted warmly as she walked up to her fellow X-Man.

"Hello, Jean." Piotr greeted with a smile.

"You painting, huh?"

"Yes." Piotr nodded , his smile not leaving his face. "I just had a sudden flash of inspiration, so I had to come on out here and paint something."

"So, what're you painting?" Jean asked as she walked over to the easel. "A landscape?" She blinked when she saw what the Russian was painting.

It was a picture of Mickey Mouse dressed as Spider-Man, scaling the outside of a building.

"That's...a strange painting, Piotr." Jean blinked.

"I know." Piotr nodded in agreement. "I don't know why, but I felt I needed to paint this picture."

"I think it may be some kind of strange cosmic joke." Jean shrugged.

"YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A voice screamed.

"That was Bobby!" Jean realized.

"Oh, dear..." Piotr blinked.

"AHHHHHH!!!" Bobby ran by screaming. The other New Mutants were also running.

"GOBBBLLLLEEEEE!!!!" A group of rather large and angry group of turkeys were chasing after them.

"I see the New Mutants are in trouble again." Piotr remarked dryly. Jean sighed.

"I gotta get the pickaxe..." The redheaded telepath/telekinetic sighed as she walked away.

**The Xavier Institute**

Growling could be heard from the oven in the Xavier Institute's kitchen. One Jamie Madrox had come to the kitchen to make a sandwich. With him was the Cobra genetic creation known as Xi. An artificial being with long blond hair and scales, Xi had the ability to turn invisible.

"Okay, Xi." Jamie told the reptilian Misfit. "I'm gonna teach you how to make the perfect Triple-Meat Triple-Decker Sandwich."

"That...does not sound healthy." Xi blinked. Jamie shrugged.

"Oh, a little extra meat on the sandwich won't hurt." The clone-maker laughed. "Anyway-!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!" Scott was heard screaming from the oven.

"What the?!" The two mutants turned their heads in the oven's direction. The door burst open, revealing a screaming Scott.

"HELP ME!" Scott screamed. "THIS THING IS TRYING TO EAT ME! THE OPTIC BLASTS, THEY DO NOTHING!" He screamed again as a monstrous hand grabbed Scott by the face and dragged him back inside, slamming the door. Xi and Jamie blinked at the sight.

"Oh dear..." Xi blinked. Jamie sighed.

"I'll get Jean...." The resigned clone-maker walked out of the room. "And the chainsaw..."

**The Great Wall of China**

The Great Wall of China. Made up of almost 8,860 miles of fortified walls, trenches, and even bits of hill and river, the Great Wall is so massive, an urban legend to this day has persisted that the Wall can be seen from space.

On a section of the wall, two Chinese guards were watching over the various tourists.

"You know, you'd think they'd try to at least repair sections of the Wall." The first guard sighed. "I mean, look at this thing! You can see it from space!"

"No, you can't." The second guard shook his head.

"Yeah, you can." The first guard argued.

"No, you can't." Guard 2 countered. "A lot of people have gone into space and have said that they can't see the Great Wall with the naked eye. It's big, but it's not that big."

"Oh really?" Guard 1 frowned.

"Yeah."

"Oh, come on!" Guard 1 groaned. "Look at this thing! This wall is huge! You can't tell me that you can't see it from space!"

"You can't!" Guard 2 answered. "This thing is big, but it's not that big. And nobody who went on the moon said they saw the Wall from space."

"I heard that an astronaut managed to get a picture of it from space." Guard 1 smirked triumphantly. The second guard snorted and nodded in a 'oh, you have walked into it' manner.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that."

"You have?"

"Yeah." Guard 2 smirked. "I heard that they discovered it was actually a river. The human eye cannot discern the wall from that distance. You have to have super-eyes to see it! And that that astronaut you mentioned, he used a camera, which can 'see' much better than the human eye, so it'd be considered cheating."

"YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Screaming was heard from behind the two guards.

"Huh?" They mumbled in unison. "What the-?!" They saw a screaming Zandar run by, dressed in his red Cardinal robes. Zandar knocked the two guards over as he raced by. "WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"Come back here, ya yahoo!" Paige Guthrie yelled as she continued the chase, twirling her pillow over her head. The two guards, who were recovering from Zandar's bum rush, found themselves back flat on their butts. "Ah'm gonna smash your head in when I catch you!"

"Ohhhhhh..." One of the guards moaned as he tried to get to his feet, only for him and his partner to get knocked on their butts yet again.

"We're gonna knock all yer blocks off, you plonkers!" The English punks yelled as they gave chase.

"Ohhhhhh...." The guards moaned again, only to be knocked down by the guards from the Taj Mahal.

"Come back here, you punks!" One of the Indian guards yelled.

"Ohhhhh..." The Chinese guards moaned.

"That's it!" Guard 2 yelled. "Let's get 'em!" The two Chinese guards joined the chase.

"I thought we built the Great Wall to keep nuts like this out of China!" Guard 1 moaned. **(1)**

"Like it'd work forever!"

**Space City**

_Breep! Breep! Breep! Breep!_ An alarm klaxon blasted throughout the command center of Space City.

"What was that?" Destro asked Virus.

"Hang on." The young English mutant checked some controls. "Ah, blast it all to hell!"

"What is it?" Destro asked. Virus scowled.

"Those bloody Joes!" Virus snarled. "They escaped! They're like bloody cockroaches!"

"Don't you worry, Virus." Destro reassured the young mutant. "I'm sure our vaunted robots can handle them. After all, you often brag that they can take the Joes and their Misfit wards down."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Virus grumbled, going back to the console. Destro shook his head and turned to Professor Miyamoto, who's chair was strapped to the ground, and his arms were shackled to it.

"You people have no right to be here!" The Professor snapped.

"Cobra goes where it pleases, old man." Virus sneered.

"Forgive my young associate, Professor." Destro looked at Professor Miyamoto. "He was born with the majority of his wires crossed." The steel-masked Scotsman then smirked. "In a way, Professor, you have yourself to blame for your present state."

"What do you mean?" Professor Miyamoto scowled.

"Your desire for isolation and secrecy made you vulnerable." Destro answered. "You had no one to turn to for help right away." Virus laughed.

"Except that airheaded slag he calls a daughter." The English mutant laughed. "And she's more useless than any one of those bloody heroes down on the Earth." He then smirked. "I think I'll let me robots play with her for a while." Professor Miyamoto growled.

"You shall not harm her!" The Professor yelled, making Virus laugh.

"Mate, you are in no position to threaten me." The crazy inventor laughed. "Just sit back and watch the show." Meanwhile, the heroes raced through the station's main city complex. Theresa and Shiro were flying.

"How do we shut this place down?" Hardcase asked Kimiko.

"The central power system." Kimiko explained. "If we can get there, we can turn off the whole station. It's located below the city, but above the command center. But what about my father? Shouldn't we look for him?"

"We have no clue as to where he may be." Kicker explained. "Do you have any ideas?"

"I do not know." Kimiko admitted. "There are so many places they could've taken him..."

"_Hello, Joes..._" Destro appeared on a large screen in the city's square.

"Oh, my!" Kimiko gasped.

"Destro!" Quick-Kick yelped.

"Oh, this'll be good..." Jester winced. He noticed the robots gathering around the heroes. "Uh...guys..."

"Alright..." Razorback smirked, cracking his knuckles. "More tin-cans ta smash."

"_I would like to formally introduce you to Cobra's new army..._" Destro smirked.

**Well, well, well! Looks like things are heating up! What insanity will happen next? Where will Paige and Zandar go next? An our heroes save the day? What was up with that picture Piotr painted? Will I stop asking questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**

**(1) – Special thanks to Red Witch for this idea! It was inspirational!**


	18. Makin' a Splash!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "We have engaged the Borg." - Captain Jean-Luc Picard, _Star Trek: The Next Generation._**

Chapter 18: Makin' a Splash!

**Rome, Italy**

Rome. The home of an ancient civilization, and a center of art and culture. And a certain drunken Dreadnok was racing through the streets, catching the attention of natives and tourists alike.

"YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Zandar screamed as he raced through the streets. "Somebody help me!" Paige Guthrie was still chasing after him, still swinging the pillow over her head.

"Come back here, ya loony-tune!" Paige yelled. "Ah'll bash you! Ah'll bash ya good!" She herself was being chased by the punkers and guards.

"Ahhhhh..." A fat Italian man smiled as he tied a napkin behind his neck. He was sitting in the outdoor cafe restaurant, and he was about to enjoy a big plate of spaghetti. "This is gonna be good spaghetti!" He heard Zandar screaming. "What?" He turned around, and...

_**SPLAT!**_

Zandar, racing beside him, accidentally knocked the fat man into the plate of spaghetti.

"Sorry!" Zandar yelled as he ran away.

"Hey!"

"COME BACK HERE!" Paige roared, accidentally knocking the man and his food over.

"HEY!"

"YAHHHHHH!!!!" The fat man found himself getting trampled by the punkers and guards.

"That's IT!" The Italian man grumbled as he got p and threw off his napkin, tossing it angrily to the ground. "I'm a-gonna _KILL_ those a-punks! Nobody ruins my lunch-a!" He joined the chase.

**The Xavier Institute**

"Ohhhhhh..." Scott Summers moaned. He was lying on a bed in the Institute's infirmary. He was bandaged heavily, and he had plenty of cuts, scrapes, and bruises. He looked like he had been through a terrible brawl.

"I'm very happy we got you out of that oven." Jean sighed in relief as she dabbed a cotton swab in rubbing alcohol.

"Believe me, Jean, I was thanking every deity I could think of for it, too. _Ow!_" The optic blaster winced as Jean touched a cut on his head with the swab. "Jean, that stings."

"Scott, you could take a blow to the head from an enchanted crowbar without a scratch, yet you wince at little rubbing alcohol." Jean chuckled as she dabbed the swab on his cut.

"That's because I was too busy believing that I was the King of the Tulips to feel the pain." Scott groaned.

"Daisies." Jean grinned. "You were the King of the Daisies."

"Really?" Scott blinked. "I could've sworn I was King of the Tulips."

"Nope. Daisies."

"Ah." Scott nodded. "Man, we really need to keep Kitty out of that kitchen."

"I know." Jean agreed with a sigh.

"There was a monster in that oven." Scott groaned. "Did they get it?"

"They're trying to." Jean nodded. Screaming was heard from outside the room. The redhead then sighed.

"What's wrong , Jean?" Scott blinked. The optic blaster then heard a crashing noise, explosions, and more screaming.

"OH DEAR SWEET HOLY JEBUS IT ESCAPED!" Bobby Drake was heard yelling.

"SOMEBODY KILL IT!" Amara Aquilla screeched.

"THE TIME BOMBS, THEY DO NOTHING!" Tabitha smith wailed.

"KITTY PRYDE, YOU ARE DEAD!" Roberto da Costa roared.

"TAKE A NUMBER!" Danielle Moonstar added.

"_**BUUUULURRRRRRRRGH!!!!**_"

"You know, I've heard rumors from the Joes, the Toxo-Vipers blog about her cooking attempts on YouTube." Scott remembered. Jean blinked.

"Toxo-Vipers?"

"The Cobra soldiers that specialize in the usage of toxic stuff." Scott explained.

"Ah." Jean nodded. "Why does that not surprise me?"

**Space City**

"_I would like to formally introduce you to Cobra's new army..._" Destro smirked as robots came down all around the Joes, the West Coast Misfits, and Kimiko.

"Oh my goodness!" Kimiko gasped.

"Stay behind us, ma'am." Razorback advised, gently pushing the young Japanese woman behind him.

"Destro, we're going to make you wish you never set foot on this station!" Hardcase snarled.

"_I do not think so, Joes._" The steel-masked weapons-maker shook his head. "_I have something, or should I say, some__**one**__, that I think you are after._" He moved aside, revealing the restrained Professor Miyamoto.

"Father!" Kimiko gasped.

"_Kimi!_" The Professor yelled. "_Forget about me! Save yourself, daughter!_"

"Let him go, Destro." Quick-Kick warned.

"_I think not, GI Joe_." Destro shook his head. "_The good professor is our guest. However, I'm afraid I'm going to have to have all of you removed from this station. Good day._" The large screen shut off. The robots then erupted with laser fire, causing the heroes to dodge wildly.

"Aw, this sucks!" Jester groaned as he dodged a laser blast and swung at a robot with a baseball bat. He then managed to nail another robot with another swing. "Yeah! And Jester takes the Pennant! Rahhhh! Rahhh!"

"Focus, you idiot!" Hardcase yelled at the pilot while making some robots eat very hot lead.

"Are these robots _supposed_ to do this?!" Kicker yelped as she sliced a robot in half with a katana.

"No. Cobra must've altered them. Eek!" Kimiko yelped as she ducked a laser blast.

"How did they modify these robots so quickly?" Quick-Kick asked himself as he kicked away another robot.

"Virus is a fast worker, gotta give the bratty little Brit that." Hardcase grunted. "He may have modified some robots and have them modify the others.

"If we can get to the command center of this station, we can free the Professor from that steel-faced fool." Shiro remarked to the other West Coast Misfits as he blasted a robot with his fiery powers, melting it down.

"And how do you suppose we do that?" Terrell answered as he used a wind current to smash two robots together. "Pull a rabbit out of a hat?"

"Maybe Miss Miyamoto knows how to get there." Rahne suggested as she slashed a robot into several pieces with her claws. The Japanese woman put her finger to her chin in thought.

"The command center is below us, in the center of the station." Kimiko remembered. "However, the station's command center is made to be impregnable."

"Great." Hardcase grumbled, shooting at some robots with his Smith and Wessons. "We can't get in, we can't shut this station down."

"What about the power supply?" Sunfire suggested. "A station like this must have some form of power supply."

"Yes!" Kimiko grinned. "There is! The generators that power this station are less defended than the command center, and they are less farther away."

"Allow me to clear a road for all of ye!" Theresa yelled. She took a breath, and...

_**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!**_

A mighty beam of sonic force erupted from the mouth of the young blonde Irish girl. The sonic waves slammed into some of the robots, scattering some, sending a few others flying, and even more smashing into other robots.

"That'll nae hold 'em forever!" She yelled.

"Quickly, where are the generators?" Jester asked.

"They're below us." Kimiko explained. "They're closer than the command center and less defended."

"Then we'll hit them." Hardcase concluded. "We shut this station down, we can get your father and this station out of those snakes' hands."

"If yuh got a quick way of goin' down, yuh'd better use it quick!" Razorback reminded, blasting a couple robots with electricity from his hood's mane.

"Allow me." Sunfire offered. The young Solar Samurai took to the air and using his flames, burned a line around the heroes, causing them, and the circle of metal they were standing on, to fall through the floor.

_Sploosh!_

The gang landed in a very large pipe with water flowing through it. The heroes were able to float on the water thanks to the large circle of metal a flying Sunfire had created.

"Thanks, Sunfire." Theresa nodded as the young Japanese mutant landed on the disc.

"You're welcome." Sunfire nodded back.

"

"This must be one of the waterways that leads to the power core." Kimiko remarked.

"Lucky us." Razorback groaned, slightly holding his stomach. However, they weren't out of Cobra's eye yet.

"Destro!" Virus yelled. "I got 'em!"

"Where are they?" Destro asked, just finishing gagging the Professor.

"They're in one of the waterways leading towards the power core." The young insane English mutant grinned wildly. "Heh heh, don't you worry, Destro. Ol' Virus always has a trick or five up his sleeve. Watch!" He pressed a button on a console. "As the boys in AC/DC once said, Joes, have a drink on me!" Back in the large pipe, a rumbling was heard.

"Uh oh..." Terrell blinked. "What was that?"

"That nae sounds good." Theresa blinked. Rahne cupped her ear, using her transitional form's better hearing.

"It sounds like...water rushing." The Scottish werewolf blinked.

"They must've...oh no..." Kimiko gasped. A huge wave of water rushed towards the heroes. "They've opened the floodgates!"

"Oh man, I took a shower this morning!" Terrell moaned.

"Everyone, BRACE FOR IMPACT!" Hardcase yelled.

_**SPLOOSH!**_

The wave of water slammed into the heroes, sending them down the pipe in a deluge.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like the heroes are in a sticky situation! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the day? Will the X-Me nbe able to stop the latest creation of Kitty Pryde? Where will Zandar and Paige's chase go next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_


	19. Going Industrial!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "Let's ROCK 'N' ROLL!" - Gene Simmons of Kiss, _Mad TV_**

Chapter 19: Going Industrial!

**Avengers Mansion**

Tony Stark, the billionaire industrialist who also fought evil as the armored superhero Iron Man, took a seat in the Avengers' meeting room. He turned on the large screen. The screen revealed the image of an African-American man with a crew cut, wearing black-and-gray armor. It was James Rhodes, aka War Machine.

"Hey ya, Rhodey!" Tony grinned. "How're things in sunny California?"

"I can't complain." Rhodes shrugged. "The beaches are nice, and so is the weather."

"I miss the beach bunnies myself." Tony shrugged. "Anyway, how're things going with that new Avengers team?" Rhodes groaned out loud. "That bad, huh?" **(1)**

"Let's just say that I'm glad _you're_ dealing with them or a while, man." Rhodes groaned. "Especially Persiana and Warbird. Those two wreck entire _streets_ during their brawls! Gyrich won't shut up about it!" **(2)**

"Trouble holding back when dealing with supervillains, huh?" Tony frowned.

"No, fighting _each other_." Rhodes groaned. "They both like this boy, and they fight constantly over him. And wage prank wars." A crash was heard behind him. "Now what?!" A curvaceous blonde teenage girl laughed as she flew by.

"You're right, Farrah!" Carol Danvers, aka Warbird, laughed. "Fenway Park is not the only place with a Green Monster! We got one now! Viva la Red Sox!"

"YOU ARE DEAD MEAT, BARBIE!" Farrah Willows, aka Persiana, roared in rage. "I'LL SLASH YOUR FACE OFF WHEN I CATCH YOU!" Farrah was trying to chase after Carol, but she was glued to a chair, which impeded her speed. She was also doused in green paint.

"Not again..." Rhodes groaned. "Now I know why you drink so much."

"Yup." Tony nodded. A crashing was heard on his end. "What in the-?!"

"YAHHHHHHHH!!!" Clint Barton, Hawkeye, yelled as he ran by.

"COME TO MAMA!" Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, whooped as she chased after him.

"Hey, isn't she one of yours?" Tony blinked. Rhodes groaned.

"I'll send Monica to pick her up."

**Paris, France**

Paris, France. The City of Lights. And a certain Dreadnok was once again running through the streets of the city.

"YAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Zandar screamed as he raced through Main Street. "HERE WE GO AGAIN!" Behind him, Paige was still chasing him, twirling her pillow over her head.

"COME BACK HERE, YA YAHOO!" Paige yelled. "AH'M GONNA BEAT YA! BEAT YA REAL GOOD!" Behind her the international crowd was chasing her. She looked around briefly. "Huh. Back here again. Maybe we forgot to pick someone up."

"I FORGOT WE ALREADY RAN THROUGH HERE!" Zandar yelled.

"Come back here, ya plonkers!" One of the punkers yelled. "We'll pound you from here to the East End!"

"Cor blimey!" Patty, the blonde punk girl, blinked in amazement as she pulled out a camera and started taking pictures.

"Patty, will you stop taking bloody pictures and focus on the epic beating we're going to give these jerks?!" Fred, her fellow punker, snapped.

"Oi! I don't get to travel often!" She snapped back. "I got a lot of great pictures here! I just hope they let us stop to try out some of that French bread stuff."

"I'm-a gonna kill those little _idiotas!_" The fat Italian man roared. "Nobody ruins an Italian's dinner!" **(3)**

"Forget your dinner!" One of the Chinese guards grumbled. "One of those clowns nearly blew up the Great Wall!"

**Space City**

"Everyone, BRACE FOR IMPACT!" Hardcase yelled.

_**SPLOOSH!**_

The wave of water slammed into the heroes, sending them down the pipe in a deluge.

"YAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The West Coast Misfits, Joes, Razorback, and Kimiko screamed as the massive wave of water swept them down the pipe.

"I think I'm gonna be sick..." Rahne moaned.

"A sick werewolf. Wonderful." Hardcase groaned.

"Aw, man! I took a shower this morning!" Jester moaned.

"We're gonna drown, and he's making jokes! Fantastic!" Hardcase groaned.

"I got ya, kiddo!" Razorback grabbed Kimiko. "Yer old man wouldn't be too happy if anythin' happened to yuh."

"Thank you!" She mumbled as she tried to splash water away from her face.

"Velocity!" Quick-Kick yelled. "Use your wind powers to blow the water away from us!"

"I'll try!" Terrell's eyes took on a white glow. He whipped up a tornado around the heroes, keeping the water away. The winds he conjured formed a shaft of air around the gang.

"Amazing!" Kimiko gasped.

"Joe trainin'." Theresa chuckled. "Does the powers good."

"Yeah, but I can't do this all damn day!" Terrell yelled, starting to show strain.

"This big piece of metal!" Shiro pointed at the circle of metal that he welded out of the city's ground. It laid against the wall of the bulkhead. "We can use it like a surfboard! Remember? I cut it out of the ground around all of you!"

"Great work, Shiro!" Kicker complimented. "Razorback, help him get it ready! Put it in the center of us!"

"With pleasure, ma'am." Razorback nodded with a smile as e ran over to Shiro. "Lemme help ya, son."

"Me, too!" Jester also helped move the platform.

"I might as well." Hardcase also helped.

"Hang on, boys!" Quick-Kick added as he helped the guys place the metal circle on the ground.

"Hurry!" Terrell snapped. "I can't hold it back forever!"

"Get on! Quickly!" Kicker ordered as she jumped onto the metal circle. The rest of the group soon followed. "Terrell! Let the water go, slowly!"

"Right!" The Compton native nodded. He quickly zipped to the platform and jumped on. "Hang on! I'm going to allow the shaft of air to come up slowly so we don't drown!" He allowed the shaft of air to slowly rise up, causing water to come in and fill in the shaft of air.

"This is going to suck..." Jester groaned.

"God, please let this work..." Terrell panted under his breath. He allowed the shaft to refill, and it worked. The ride was a much smoother one.

"Well, whaddaya know?" Jester grinned. "It turned out to not suck after all."

"Phew!" Terrell fell back on his butt, wiping sweat off his brow. "I'm never doing that again."

"Great job, Terrell!" Theresa complimented with a big grin, giving a thumbs-up.

"Good work, soldier." Hardcase nodded.

"Do you have any idea where we're going, Kimiko?" Quick-Kick asked Kimiko. The young Japanese woman put her finger on her chin in thought.

"We may be heading towards the command center." She replied.

"I hope so, because the end of the line is coming up." Rahne realized, pointing ahead. The gang realized that they were heading for a bright light.

"Oh, no..." Terrell groaned.

"I'm really beginning to hate this station..." Hardcase grumbled. The gang found themselves floating into a canal in a big metal room. They noticed that there were railings and conveyor belts all over the place. "Where are we?"

"We must be in the heavy industrial area." Kimiko explained. "This is where the robots are built, repaired, and recycled."

"Sounds like a real busy place." Razorback remarked. In the control room, Virus had finally caught them.

"Destro!" He announced. "I got the little plonkers! They're in the industrial area of the station!"

"Give them a welcome then, Virus." Destro ordered.

"With pleasure." Virus cackled as he pressed a button on a control panel. Back in the industrial area, Theresa's ears picked up a faint noise.

"Huh?" The Irish screamer blinked. She turned her head and saw a large cup suspended in the air coming towards her. "What in the-?" She noticed the cup dip and start pouring out molten metal...towards the heroes. "Everyone! Look out!"

"What? Yipe!" Rahne yelped. The heroes all leapt out of the way of the cup, pouring out its load of molten slag.

"Ten bucks says that fool Virus was behind this." Shiro grunted.

"Robots!" Rahne screamed, pointing up in the sky. Several more robots swooped down, firing lasers at the heroes.

"Thet's it!" Razorback grunted, grabbing a damaged robot off a conveyor belt. "Ah'm tired of robots!" He pitched the hulk at one of the robots, hitting it and smashing it.

"So am I!" Rahne snarled as she shifted into her werewolf form. She slashed open one robot that swooped by her.

"Here we go again." Jester grumbled as he whipped out his baseball bat.

"Tell me about it." Quick-Kick agreed, pulling out several shuriken and a pair of nunchucks.

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are in another pickle! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the day! Will Paige EVER catch Zandar? What about the chasing crowd? Will there be more Avengers insanity? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – The West Coast Avengers, who first appeared in Persiana13's "Emerging Crisis"! Give it a read! You'll love it!**

**(2) – See Persiana13's "Saneless in San Diego"! Read it! It is funny!**

**(3) – _Idiota_ means, obviously, idiot in Italian. Thanks, Red Witch!**


	20. Shut Down!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "Because it's _dull_, you twit!" - Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham, _Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves_.**

Chapter 20: Shut Down!

**Misfit Manor**

Several members of the Misfits were gathered in the Common Room of the Misfit Manor. One was St. John Allerdyce, the orange-haired insane Australian fire manipulator known as Pyro, was sitting in front of the tube, drawn almost hypnotically to the screen.

"TV..." A dazed John mumbled.

"What's with him?" An English-accented voice asked. It belonged to a pretty teenage girl with long black feathered hair, dressed in a Def Leppard shirt and jeans. She was Lila Cheney, codenamed Starway. An English mutant, former thief, and rock musician, Lila had the mutant ability to teleport interstellar distances. She was currently painting the nails of one of her teammates, gently brushing jet black nail polish on them.

"TV..."

"Ah, you know Pyro." Lance Alvers, the geokinetic codenamed Avalanche, chuckled. He was the one who was getting his nails painted by Lila. He looked down at his nails and smiled. "Nice job, Lila."

"Thanks, mate." The interstellar teleporter grinned. "I'm rather proud of it meself."

"These black nails are awesome." Lance grinned.

"TV..." Craig Starr, Darkstar, walked into the room and noticed Pyro.

"I see the new meds are in effect." He noted as he left the room.

"TV..."

"New meds?" Lance blinked.

"Yeah, I just remembered." Lila realized. "Psyche-Out got some new medication for him."

"Didn't he try and medicate him before?" Lance frowned. "We all remember what happened then."

**The Misfit Manor kitchen, a month earlier**

"DIE BANANA!" John yelled. He was in full costume and pointing his flamethrowers at a bunch of bananas lying on a counter in the Misfit Manor's kitchen.

"Here he is!" Lance yelled. He, Todd, Xi, Fred, and Craig lunged at the insane Australian pyrokinetic, trying to pull him out of the room. "Watch it! He's got his flamethrowers!"

"NO!" John screamed as he struggled. "The bananas must die! They're laughing at me!"

"John, calm down, yo!" Todd snapped.

"What'd they do to you?!" John yelled. "They got into your minds!" He started screaming at the bananas. "LEAVE THEM ALONE, YOU CURVY YELLOW BASTARDS!" He slipped his way out of the Misfits' grip and lunged at the bananas.

"Geez!" Craig groaned. The scene turned into chaos as the Misfits attempted to stop John from turning the kitchen into ash.

**Misfit Manor, present day**

"I couldn't believe that Fred needed help." Lila shook her head. "Fred. The one who can rip a tank in half like a piece of tissue paper, needed help restraining a skinny insane Aussie."

"You'd be surprised how strong crazy people can be." Lance warned.

"TV..." John mumbled, a line of drool escaping his mouth.

"Uh, John..." Lila pointed at her mouth. "You got a little uh..."

"Here." Lance handed Lila a handkerchief.

"Oh, thanks." Lila took the handkerchief and wiped off Pyro's mouth. The TV then made an announcement.

"_And now, back to Star Trek: The Next Generation!_" John then got up, his face blank. It was like he was in a trance.

"John?" Lance blinked. The insane Aussie marched away, the blank look still on his face.

"Must...Kill...Wesley..." John chanted. Lance and Lila looked at each other.

"Must be his new meds." Lila realized.

"Oh no, not again!" Lance groaned as he and Lila quickly got up off the couch and chased after John.

**Space City**

"I am really beginning to grow sick and tired of all these stupid robots." Kicker grumbled as she whipped out her katana.

"You and me both, hon." Quick-Kick agreed as he dodged a robot's strikes.

"WAHHHH!" Theresa yelled as she used her sonic powers to smash a couple robots.

"Stay behind me, li'l lady." Razorback told Kimiko as he pushed her behind him. The heroic trucker fired blasts of electricity from his hood's mane at the robots.

"Are you alright, Mr. Razorback?" Kimiko blinked. Razorback chuckled.

"Don't ya worry about me, li'l lady." Razorback reassured. "I'm a tough ol' man."

"Man, I haven't seen this many robots since we saw _Westworld_ on DVD last night!" Terrell grumbled as he smashed several robots into a wall with his wind powers.

"Come on, everyone!" Theresa encouraged, blasting a robot with her sonic scream. "We gotta get tae the core!"

"Blondie's right!" Hardcase agreed, shooting a couple robots with his Smith and Wessons. "We can't just stand here and fight robots all day long."

"YAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" A voice screamed.

"Huh?" Hardcase stopped firing and saw Zandar, still in his cardinal costume, run by screaming. "What was that? Was...was that Zandar?"

"COME BACK HERE, YA YAHOO!" Paige screamed. She chased after him, still with steel skin and twirling her pillow over her head.

"Isn't she that Guthrie girl from the X-Men?" A confused Hardcase blinked. The Joe really got confused when he saw what happened next.

"RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!" The posse yelled as they chased after Paige and Zandar.

"I'm-a gonna kill those idiotas!" The fat Italian man yelled.

"Take a number, wanker!" Fred the punker yelled. "We get first shots!" Hardcase's jaw dropped as he watched the chase leave.

"...I work with lunatics." He groaned. "I'm surrounded by crazies YEOW!" He dodged a blast from another robot. "Damned robots!"

"Come and get me, robots!" Jester whooped as he smashed a robot with his baseball bat. "Come on! Come and get me! Yeah! You all don't scare me!" Rahne blinked as she watched Jester start dancing around. "That's right! Yeah! I am the King of Robot Smashing."

"And he wonders why people think he's crazy." The Scottish lycanthrope blinked. She then dodged a laser blast. "Grrrrrrr..." She slashed the offending robot in half. "Do ye mind?!"

"Come on!" Jester continued to taunt as several more robots hovered towards him. "Come and get me, boys! You don't scare me!" The robots started trying to blast him. "Damn!" The pranking pilot quickly ducked and rolled out of the way of the laser blasts. "Ha! Ya missed me!" He blew the robots a raspberry. "You taught you how to aim, huh?! YEOW!" He had to duck and roll again. "Okay, okay! No more jokes!" He then smashed the robots with his baseball bat. "YEAH!"

"Kimiko, is there a way out of here?" Kicker asked as she sliced a robot in half.

"Yes." The young Japanese woman nodded. "That door over there!" She pointed at a large pair of metal doors.

"Well, what're we waiting for?!" Hardcase yelled. "Let's go! YO JOE!" The group ran towards the doors, trying to outrun the robots, who were still blasting at them.

"Hang on!" Kimiko announced, revealing a laminated card around her neck. She swiped it on a console next to the doors. With a whirring noise, the large doors opened, revealing a large transparent tube with a metal door. It's this way to the core! Hurry!" She raced into the tube.

"Hang on, li'l lady!" Razorback warned as he ran after her. "Yuh don't know whut's out there! Especially with that crazy kid Virus runnin' the place!"

"I've helped create this station! I know what is and is not here!" Kimiko answered sharply.

"Hes just tryin' to help, Miss Miyamoto. Relax." Quick-Kick reassured. The doors slammed shut behind the heroes, preventing the robots from following them.

"Saints be praised!" Theresa smiled in relief.

"Aye." Rahne agreed, running in her werewolf form. "I was growing rather tired of those things."

**Space City's control room**

"Now where the bloody 'ell did they go?" Virus mumbled to himself as he saw the doors close on his screen. He had to check Space City's schematics.

**On the way to the core**

"This way!" Kimiko waved as she swiped her card at a console in front of another pair of large metal doors. "The core is in this room!" The doors opened, revealing a huge room. The walls were lined by consoles and screens showing various status displays. In the center of the room stood a column of orange-yellow light, its diameter the length of a van, sheathed in polarized transparent plastic. In front of it was a ring of computers.

"Wow..." Jester blinked.

"That's energy collected from the sun itself." Kimiko explained.

"Amazing..." Theresa gaped.

"This station really does go green, huh?" Terrell blinked.

"Yes." Kimiko smiled. "And the core has a express elevator to the command center, right there." The young woman pointed to a pair of white doors.

"Alright!" Kicker grinned. "We can get to the command center and take down Destro and Virus!"

"Can we still use this elevator?" Quick-Kick asked. Kimiko nodded.

"I have a the key right here." Kimiko announced, pulling out a small golden plastic card from her pocket. "This'll shut down Space City's main power supply, forcing it to switch to auxiliary."

"Do it." Hardcase ordered. Nodding, Kimiko slipped the card into a slot in one of the computers in front of the column of light with a clicking noise. With a whirring and a fading hum, the column of light slowly vanished and the lights dimmed.

"Now that's what I call the Key to the City!" Terrell jibed. **(1)**

"We are now on auxiliary power." Kimiko announced.

"Alright!" Rahne whooped in delight.

"I'll bet you Virus is throwing a fit right now." Theresa smirked.

"Let's get to that control room." Hardcase ordered. "We got some snakes to catch! Yo Joe!"

_**Well, well, well! Looks like the adventure is almost over! What madness will happen next?! Can our heroes stop Cobra? Is Virus pitching a fit? Where will the chase go next? Will I stop asking these stupid questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – A line used by Firestorm in the original episode of _Galactic Guardians_ this story is based on.**


	21. Splashdown!

**Siege of Space City**

**Disclaimer: "Allons-y!" - David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor, _Doctor Who_**

Chapter 21: Splashdown!

**Bayville Hospital**

_Beep...beep...beep...beep...beep..._

"Ohhhhh..." Duncan Matthews moaned from his hospital bed, in a body cast. He had been laid up ever since he got ran over by that group of police cars. "Muh back....muh back hurts so bad..." His words were barely understandable due to the injuries to his face. A doctor looked at his chart.

"You're a modern-day miracle, Mr. Matthews." The doctor chuckled. "You got ran over by several cars and had every bone in your body broken, and every major organ traumatized, you're going to be just fine."

"Gimme some morphine..." Duncan begged. The doctor chuckled.

"I'll have the nurse get you some painkiller." He walked away. "Have a good rest, Mr. Matthews."

"Dear sweet Jebus, I need morphine..." Duncan moaned weakly to himself as he was left alone in his room. He then remembered that the TV was on. He looked up at it. A college football game was on. He tried his best to smile. This day wasn't a total disaster. Sure, he'd be in traction for a while, but at least he still had the ability to watch football. However...Duncan's peace was about to be interrupted.

_**KRESH!**_

A flying safe blasted through the window and slammed into the injured football player, making him scream.

"Oh, God! This is gonna keep me in here for a year!"

**The Xavier Institute**

Ororo Munroe, the weather-manipulating Storm, walking towards her greenhouse. A smile was on her face as she carried a new potted plant in her hands.

"This rose that Scarlett found in that jungle is so beautiful." The X-Woman remarked to herself with a small smile. "This will make an excellent addition to my greenhouse." She walked inside and looked around. "Now where can I place you?" She heard screaming. "What?"

"YAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" She noticed Zandar run towards the greenhouse, still dressed as a Cardinal.

"COME BACK HERE!" Paige yelled, chasing after him, still waving her pillow. The angry international crowd as also after them.

"Come back here and-a DIE!" The fat Italian man yelled.

"Oh, not again..." Storm groaned. She quickly put down the rose and ran outside. "No! Do not come near my-!"

"We're going around!" Zandar yelled, as he and the procession proceeded to do so.

"STOP!" Ororo yelled. The group immediately stopped in their tracks, looking like a bunch of cartoon characters.

"Cor blimey!" One of the British punkers grinned. "She's a real nice-lookin' bird, am I right?"

"Shut up!" Patti the blonde punker snapped, smacking the leering punker upside the head.

"Who are you people?" Ororo frowned at the crowd.

"Uh..." Fred the British punker blinked. "...Relatives?"

"Those-a two idiotas ruined-a my dinner!" The fat Italian man yelled, pointing at Paige and Zandar.

"Sounds like you needed to eat less anyway, fatso." One of the Chinese guards snorted.

"Oh, for God's sakes, shut up!" The other Chinese guard groaned.

"You want-a piece of me, little-a man?!" The Italian man snarled, shoving a fist in the guard's face.

"Bring it, fat boy!" The Chinese guard snapped. The two started to fight. The other members of the group, as well as Paige, Zandar, and Ororo, just watched. The weather witch sighed.

"Paige, Sam has been wondering where you've been."

"Around, making new friends." Paige grinned.

"Does that mean I can go home?" Zandar blinked.

"Quiet, you!" Paige whacked him with her pillow. "Finally! I've been waiting God knows how many thousands of miles to do that!"

**Space City**

"Blast it!" Virus roared in frustration, pounding on the controls. "Blast it! Blast it! Blast it! Blast it all to Hell!"

"What's wrong, Virus?!" Zartan snapped. He was watching over the Professor.

"They bloody shut off the main power of the City!" Virus snapped. "Those punks! Those rotten punks! Ruin my fun, will they?!"

"Then we must evacuate at once." Destro announced to his two compatriots. Meanwhile, the restrained Professor Miyamoto was lost in his own thoughts, completely oblivious to the three Cobra members arguing.

_This was my fault._ The Professor sighed to himself. _I was such a foolhardy man. In my quest to flee from the chaos of the Planet Earth, I've made myself vulnerable to those who would use my creations for evil. And who knows what has happened to my Kimiko._

"Good luck getting away with all those damned Joes running all over the place!" Zartan snapped.

"Oi!" Virus snapped. "Don't worry about it! I got a plan!" He heard the door to the command center open. "What the-?!"

"Top floor! Everybody off!" Jester whooped as the West Coast Misfits and he Malibu Joes, accompanied by Kimiko and Razorback, burst into the command center. "Electronics, housewares, Stupid Cobras." He noticed the professor hanging restrained on a wall. "Professor Miyamoto, I presume?"

"Shut up, Jester!" Hardcase yelled.

"YO JOE!" Quick-Kick whooped.

"Bloody Joes!" Virus snapped. "You shut off this station!"

"Awww, and what're ye going tae do, Virus?" Theresa smirked, crossing her arms. "Cry and throw a tantrum like a little child?" Professor Miyamoto looked over.

"Kim...Kimiko?" The Professor mumbled.

"Father!" Kimiko exclaimed in delight. She started to run towards him, but Razorback held her back. "Hey!"

"Take it easy, kiddo!" Razorback warned her. "It's too dangerous!"

"So, it seems you Joes have foiled us." Destro grunted.

"You're not taking this station, pal!" Hardcase snarled, leveling his twin Smith and Wessons at Destro.

"Ye all can come along quietly, or we can make ye come along." Theresa warned.

"I don't think so, mates." Virus smirked. He quickly placed a device on one of the control panels and pressed a button on it. Alarm klaxons blared and red lights flashed. Outside, the station's thrusters powered on, and starting pushing the station out of orbit, straight towards Earth. "I just sent this station careening towards Earth. Unfortunately, it'll land in the Pacific ocean. I didn't have a chance to alter the course to make it land in Malibu or Florida. Ta, Joes!" He, Zartan, and Destro vanished in a flash of light. The heroes noticed Earth coming up very fast on the screen.

"My station..." Professor Miyamoto moaned weakly.

"We gotta get outta here!" Theresa exclaimed.

"Yeah, let's get back to the Big Pig!" Razorback agreed. He ripped off the Professor's restraints and held the older man gently.

"Father, are you alright?" Kimiko asked in worry.

"I...am fine, dear." Professor Miyamoto sighed. "My station is going to be destroyed. But I am happy that you're alright."

"The Joes and the Misfits protected me, Father." Kimiko smiled.

"You two can do the happy reunion thing later!" Hardcase interrupted the father and daughter. "We gotta get out of here!" The group raced into the elevator, and took it as far down as they could go. The group raced towards the Big Pig.

"Everyone strap in!" Razorback yelled as he jumped in the pilot's seat. "It's gonna be a bumpy ride outta here!"

"I hope nobody here gets airsick." Jester added as he took the next seat and strapped in. "Let's go!"

"I think _I'm_ gonna get airsick." Terrell moaned.

"Shut up and hang on!" Theresa ordered.

"As Danny Glover as Roger Murtaugh once said in _Lethal Weapon_, "I'm getting too old for this-!" He started to curse.

_**VROOMMMMM!!!**_

The Big Pig's jets erupted as the shuttle raced from the launching pad into the blackness of space.

"Wasn't there any way to stop the crash?" Kicker asked Kimiko. She shook her head.

"Not at the speed that insane boy had the station going at."

"It does not matter, anyway." Professor Miyamoto said. "This whole experience has made me realize that I have been very foolish. If the station can be repaired, I shall do things much differently." Hardcase started making calls on his Joe-Com, alerting people to the station coming down.

"And if you can't fix it?" Kicker wondered.

"Then it shall remain in the sea, a monument to a foolish ego."

_**Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have managed to save the day! What insanity will happen next? Can Space City be repaired? What will Cobra get up to next? Will the X-Men get more guests? Find out soon! Thanks for reading!**_


End file.
